Up next in 10
Okay more like "reactor".... I thought it was funny.
This is episode 20, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM91_50BNoFqt2wWWmNbqeFa4rfHVTZb_&si=fLf9MdlFYKljhofU
The Goblins:
@argos101
@larsburrito
#alienisolation #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
Moving and couch gums. All right, so I
0:01
got to find the power system.
0:03
You cut out for that. Like that. That
0:07
was so loud. Apparently Discord cut you
0:10
out.
0:11
Volatile.
0:17
Remember you said you were going to die
0:18
this time, so you can't
0:19
I'm not going to die this time. I got to
0:20
go this way.
0:27
Man, look at this. I just made some
0:29
synonym rolls. I just made some some
0:32
synonym rolls.
0:35
Rolls.
0:35
Yeah, synonym rolls.
0:38
An anonym.
0:40
Sorry, I always have that one guy stuck
0:42
on my head. The guy that does like the
0:44
3DS animation uh shorts, you know, like
0:47
the I can't stop winning. I can't stop.
0:50
You know, that guy. Oh, I've seen like
0:53
some of those, but I've never
0:56
I've never like followed him and like
0:57
actively see him out.
1:00
Oh, I Dude, I was going to get one of
1:02
his shirts when they uh when they drop
1:03
just because in my friend group I've
1:05
become the um I can't stop winning guy.
1:09
Oh, it's kind of funny.
1:16
cuz it's a group for like uh like D and
1:18
D stuff and I just like you know it's
1:20
like oh boy I just got to roll high and
1:23
then I roll high. I can't stop winning.
1:26
I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead and dying.
1:32
You said you want to die this episode.
1:34
I said that. No, I said that I was going
1:36
to die once this episode.
1:39
That's what I remember. I said it. I'm
1:41
pretty sure I'd remember what I said.
1:42
Don't pull it up. If you pulled up from
1:44
the last recording, you smell bad.
1:46
I smell bad.
1:48
Yes.
1:58
Stay back, idiot. Yeah, that's what I
2:00
thought.
2:04
This is a safe space, baby.
2:08
And I'll shoot some flames.
2:11
Can you come down here? No.
2:16
It's over here.
2:20
Hey, remember don't die.
2:25
Remember, no Russian.
2:35
[ __ ] sake.
2:37
This is a perfect spot to craft things.
2:40
It is.
2:43
Nothing good.
2:44
Alien ducks down and watches you waiting
2:46
for you to come out. I'mma kill you when
2:47
you come out.
2:48
I'm going bite you with my little mouth.
2:53
You don't think [ __ ]
2:58
I mean, they alien does camp. I mean,
3:00
it's unfair.
3:02
Yeah. Feel like they're the person that
3:04
puts up the fire or camper.
3:09
Do they eat us for food? I feel like I
3:12
feel like they just do it for sport,
3:13
right?
3:15
I think it is just a sport.
3:19
I don't know alien lore too well.
3:21
I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Is it?
3:23
It's Jover, isn't it?
3:25
It's Jover.
3:26
So, Jover.
3:28
It's
3:32
Jover.
3:34
It's Jover,
3:36
isn't it?
3:44
[ __ ] I can do it. I can do it. I'm a
3:45
big boy. I'm a brave boy.
3:50
Not a brave enough boy for this.
3:52
We got to get out of here.
3:54
I'm fine. I'm okay.
3:56
According to Reddit,
3:59
why are you listening to Reddit?
4:01
The alien does have to eat.
4:05
Well, yeah. It's a organism
4:07
and it eats and I it just I think it
4:11
eats whatever it can.
4:12
Hey, I'm going to go in here cuz I don't
4:14
want to waste any ammunition.
4:19
I don't
4:21
know if that fully is foolproof, but
4:24
I'm pretty sure
4:27
all like living things eat something.
4:32
Yeah, I think it's I think it just eats
4:34
whatever it can get a hold on get a hold
4:35
of. So
4:37
yeah, like I assumed it ate. I just
4:39
didn't know if it was killing us to eat
4:41
or if it was killing us cuz like
4:43
horror movie thing wants to kill
4:45
something for fun.
4:47
Yeah. I don't
4:51
Yeah.
4:55
Awesome. I'm pushing I'm pushing I'm
4:57
pushing buttons to like see if I can
4:58
reload my flashlight.
5:01
Nope.
5:06
All right. There's just no way to
5:08
There's There was no way.
5:15
So bright and flashy.
5:21
I got him. Oh, save.
5:28
In my defense. Um, can you do me a favor
5:31
when you reload into the game?
5:33
Mhm.
5:34
Press and hold F.
5:38
All right, I pushed it. All right,
5:40
batteries are loaded.
5:41
Yeah, it's press and hold. Okay,
5:43
man. I'm not How was I supposed to know
5:45
that?
5:47
I had to Google it.
5:50
The people of Reddit said that if you
5:52
press in all f
5:53
It was Reddit, actually.
6:01
Man,
6:03
I mean, to be fair, that means I've been
6:04
using like the same set of batteries
6:06
that I got from the start of the game
6:07
for like ever.
6:10
I mean, you've also had your flashlight
6:12
dead for
6:14
like three episodes.
6:15
Three or four episodes. Yeah.
6:18
Plus, I think you might have reloaded it
6:21
a couple. forgot the button because
6:23
we've been recording this over the
6:24
course of you know
6:25
of two days because uh you know we're
6:27
professionals.
6:29
Ah yes, totally. Totally.
6:31
Yeah, there's two aliens.
6:33
One just hopped in the vent. There's
6:34
this guy right in front of me.
6:35
Yeah, that's uh
6:38
makes this difficult. I didn't realize
6:39
there were two aliens.
6:54
The game kind of has it set up where it
6:55
wants me to do it in like one good old
6:58
burst.
7:01
You know what I mean? Like I feel like
7:02
it doesn't want me to try to save.
7:06
I mean, it's doable. You just kind of
7:08
have to do a good job of dodging
7:11
Yeah.
7:13
the alien.
7:15
There's only like two hiding spots,
7:16
which is the hard part. And they're both
7:18
like the worst kind of hiding spots.
7:20
Are you talking about like the um actual
7:23
like lockers and stuff?
7:25
Yeah, like there's like that and there's
7:26
that like right next to each other.
7:29
Yeah, they aren't the greatest, but
7:31
there's something. You can also hide
7:32
under the desks that are surviving
7:34
there.
7:37
I have time. I got time.
7:40
You're like Mr. Incredible at the
7:41
beginning of the first movie.
7:42
I have time.
7:43
Yeah, I got time.
7:44
I got to get out of here.
7:46
I'm saving. I don't give a [ __ ] I don't
7:48
give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ]
7:51
You can do it. I believe in you.
7:55
Don't [ __ ] up.
7:56
I'm going to [ __ ] up.
7:58
Don't [ __ ] up.
8:04
I did not even see that.
8:06
I heard it.
8:12
Hey man, high five.
8:16
Hey man, how's it hanging?
8:18
Wait, literally in this case,
8:20
where am I going?
8:23
You going the right way.
8:24
Oh, I'm itching my forehead. All right,
8:28
that got me. That got me. I'm not going
8:30
to lie. That Oh,
8:31
that's not fair. I was itching the back
8:32
of my head.
8:34
I'm itching my head, man. I'm itching my
8:36
head.
8:40
Oh, I actually had a I actually had my
8:41
friend uh I have the constant joke with
8:44
my friend where it's like, you know,
8:46
Smiling Friends, right? Like the show,
8:49
I think. So,
8:51
it's the the one with the yellow guy and
8:52
the purple dude.
8:54
I I think so.
8:57
Uh anyway, I've been saying to my
8:59
friends like, "Hey, it seems like a
9:00
perfect show for me." Like, I've seen a
9:02
lot of their jokes. It's probably
9:03
perfect for me, but I just like I just
9:04
don't have the time to watch it. And one
9:06
time I said that he just like hang let
9:08
me pass by. One time I said that he
9:10
literally just made me like watch all
9:12
two seasons with him right there.
9:14
He just pulled it up and we just watched
9:16
it. It was really good.
9:18
That's one I'm not familiar with, but
9:23
I gone this way.
9:25
Although if I Google it, I probably
9:27
would.
9:27
Oh my gosh, I can see the gun through
9:29
the wall. Look at that. I can see the
9:31
bolt gun.
9:33
Oh my god, you can. This game is
9:35
perfect.
9:39
All right, this I knew I had to come
9:40
here because I've been seeing the thing
9:42
through the wall. That's how I knew I
9:43
had to come here.
9:45
Okay. I've seen clips.
9:48
Yeah,
9:49
smelling friends.
9:50
It's like a very memeable show,
9:53
but I've never like watched it in its
9:54
entirety.
9:56
Like I there's there's that one from
9:57
episode one that I use all the time
9:59
where it's like um all right, Pib, I
10:01
know our job is to help this guy, but
10:02
he's obviously made up his mind. Why
10:04
don't we just cut our losses and get out
10:05
of here?
10:06
It's a joke I make like constantly.
10:09
That's actually good. And it kind of
10:10
makes sense for this.
10:11
Persuades you out of this room. I just
10:13
like it if you didn't die.
10:15
I just like it if you didn't die.
10:17
This is what's going to happen. There
10:18
are emergency over.
10:19
Here's what's going to happen. I'm going
10:21
to die.
10:21
The local capacity.
10:23
If I decouple them and discharge the
10:25
system, the purge will be external. The
10:27
nest is right in harm's way.
10:29
I have no clue what you just said.
10:32
Just find something.
10:33
I'm an engineer.
10:35
I am the spy.
10:46
Donk.
10:48
Eat lead. [ __ ]
10:59
The last time I've seen this played, the
11:02
person playing literally just like ran
11:04
all over the place and tried to just
11:05
keep on avoiding them.
11:07
Yeah, but I like using this thing.
11:09
I mean, it is oddly satisfying.
11:16
I love guns that let me head shot when
11:18
the enemy I'm fighting likes to walk
11:19
towards me at a snail's pace.
11:23
Yeah, exactly.
11:27
Nice. Why am I going that way?
11:32
Or is it right there?
11:35
This one. A rat.
11:39
This one.
11:41
This one.
11:43
A rat.
11:47
Honestly, I forget all that you have to
11:49
do in this section. So, you're kind of
11:51
on your own.
11:52
This one.
11:54
Oh, they're back this way.
11:59
Good job.
12:00
Pass them. They weren't doing anything
12:01
when I was passing them. I think it was
12:03
cuz I was mid-con conversation with the
12:04
other guy.
12:05
I think you als I think you also have to
12:06
do it in a certain order.
12:09
So you'll go down that staircase. You'll
12:12
[ __ ] up stuff.
12:18
Overload me and lever.
12:25
And I think there's
12:27
Running causes accidents. Is that what
12:29
your mom did? I'm so funny.
12:37
Don't b
12:42
this right.
12:44
Oh,
12:46
running accidents. Then how do you
12:48
exist?
12:52
I was running.
12:57
How would that work?
13:02
Uh, enter. Nice.
13:15
I love you.
13:18
Oh my goodness.
13:21
You're going to make me do it to the
13:22
other side, too. I know. Just let me do
13:24
it.
13:29
I don't know why this section has to be
13:30
so loud
13:32
because
13:34
that's why
13:39
I'm a pro hacker.
13:42
Yeah.
13:44
If only hacking was that easy in real
13:46
life.
13:48
Pro hacker. your butt cheek clapper. I'm
13:52
Oh, dude, I'm a I'm a genius
13:58
thing near me.
13:59
Yeah, you're as much of a genius as all
14:01
the people that thought that stupid
14:04
Chase Bank thing was a glitch.
14:08
Did you hear about that?
14:12
I'm dating the video, but did you hear
14:14
about that?
14:15
Uh, I think I saw like a thumbnail on
14:17
it. I don't think I actually clicked on
14:18
it. So these idiots, this happened.
14:21
There was there was it just like a
14:22
glitch where it's like you could make
14:23
the numbers go up a bit.
14:25
No, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to
14:27
laugh at this. So
14:29
turning the [ __ ]
14:30
For some reason, for some reason, people
14:33
thought it was a smart idea to they went
14:37
to Chase Bank and deposited a
14:43
check into their account. They wrote a
14:44
check to themselves and deposited into
14:46
the account. And for some reason there
14:49
there was a legitimate issue
14:52
that because usually what it should do
14:54
is some of the funds will be available
14:56
on a check and the rest won't clear
14:58
until
14:59
the bank knows that you're good for
15:01
those funds.
15:03
These idiots thought it'd be a genius
15:05
idea to write checks to themselves
15:09
for like thousands of dollars
15:12
for money they didn't have.
15:15
And then come Tuesday, their accounts
15:17
are in the negatives because the bank is
15:19
trying to recoup those losses,
15:22
but they've already with they've already
15:24
taken taken that cash out of the bank
15:27
for those check those bad checks.
15:30
Yeah,
15:31
my guy, that is check fraud.
15:35
And people did this to their own bank
15:37
accounts.
15:40
So, the bank and law enforcement have
15:43
their name, their address, their social
15:46
security number, and sometimes even the
15:48
kind of car that they drive.
15:54
And last I heard, I think Chase Bank is
15:57
planning on
16:00
um
16:01
compiling all of those
16:04
names
16:06
and
16:08
getting warrants out.
16:12
Yeah. Um
16:15
reminds me of a very funny phrase of you
16:19
can't fix stupid.
16:21
But you can train it. They're called
16:23
Marines.
16:27
Did you know that Marines is an acronym?
16:29
Uh, no. Cuz I'm stupid.
16:34
Muscles are required. Intelligence not
16:37
not essential.
16:41
Wait, what am I doing?
16:46
I'm about to purge the nest. Hang tight.
16:52
I have a feeling I did not in fact
16:53
indeed purge the nest.
16:58
That looks like it's going to break the
16:59
glass.
17:02
No, you'll be fine.
17:23
So, how you feeling?
17:26
I feel good.
17:30
Sebastromised.
17:34
There's still some on the station.
17:36
[ __ ]
17:39
I'm I'm sorry, Ricardo.
17:42
Just get back to the Marshall Bureau,
17:44
please. Why do I feel like Ricardo is
17:46
going to betray me?
17:49
I have this overwhelming premonition
17:51
that Ricardo is about to like sell me
17:53
out.
17:58
Wait, something weird's happening.
18:00
Is he about to die?
18:02
Think
18:03
I need you to get to medical now. The
18:06
reactor purge, it's resetting systems
18:08
across
18:09
lights, transit, maybe even
18:12
transit. My favorite zombies map said no
18:14
one ever.
18:15
We might not have much time.
18:16
That's a highbrow joke for you viewers.
18:20
Save game.
18:21
Never really played zombies.
18:23
I mean, it's good if you like to run in
18:25
circles. It's fun. I'm a gamer. I've
18:27
played everything.
18:32
Engineering transit station.
18:35
Go to the engineering transit station.
18:40
Go to the go to San Rasabula.
18:45
That's none of these.
18:48
Am I stupid?
18:50
Probably.
18:53
There's only one button that works. Just
18:55
press the button.
18:56
They all work.
18:59
Medical station.
19:02
Is that this one? Well, the issue is
19:04
they all work.
19:06
I thought there was only one that would
19:08
work. Okay. Oh,
19:10
and thank you for your continued use.
19:13
Maybe it's just this one.
19:14
The schemed tower.
19:19
The simemed tower. The science of
19:21
medical tower.
19:22
Schemed. That's how you spell schemed.
19:25
It's the
19:27
schemed.
19:29
The sci-fi med tower.
19:31
That is not
19:32
That is exactly how it works.
19:37
My literature is very goodly.
19:41
My English is perfect. I have the best
19:45
speaking words you will ever see.
19:47
Speaking words. Really?
19:49
Uh-huh.
19:50
Okay. Okay.
19:52
Um, my words of speaking.
19:54
Mhm.
19:55
Is it like a bag of holding?
20:00
I just get a big old like bag and I just
20:02
keep throwing words at people.
20:07
Eat [ __ ] [ __ ]
20:09
My words are speaking.
20:13
Eat [ __ ] He pull he go puts his hand in
20:15
the bag. He pulls out the word [ __ ] and
20:17
throws it at somebody.
20:21
Ricardo, I met. Did you manage to get to
20:24
Yeah. No, I can for that. I can see you
20:26
like getting one of those frosted
20:28
cookies and like writing the word [ __ ]
20:30
on it
20:31
and like throwing the cookie at the Eat
20:33
[ __ ] This This is just as good as the
20:36
uh the thoughts and prayers thing we
20:37
were we were looking at the other day.
20:41
I forgot what that was.
20:43
That was the It was like the like the
20:44
like the hand wraps for punching called
20:47
the thoughts and prayers.
20:48
But then I was like, "Oh yeah, you could
20:50
also like you could also put like runes
20:52
on it, but like the runes can only be
20:53
made from people's souls, so you can
20:55
keep people in your thoughts and
20:56
prayers."
20:59
Terrible.
21:02
Why do we make these kinds of like how
21:04
are we funny? Like come on.
21:07
Ion torch.
21:12
We speak very well. Very good.
21:16
We speak very goodly.
21:18
Very welly.
21:21
Horrible.
21:25
An insufficient way to block something
21:27
off.
21:33
You're an inefficient way to block
21:35
something.
21:36
Yeah, I am. I'm not I'm not that fat
21:39
anymore. Can't really use me as like a
21:41
blockade anymore.
21:43
Jeez.
21:44
I only block 75% of the door now.
21:50
Jeez.
21:51
That's good.
21:52
Oh, this is where you did the the the
21:56
the
21:59
explosion when they originally tried to
22:00
kill the kill the thing.
22:02
Someone's here. I saw it.
22:13
[Music]
22:15
Sounds like someone's trying to sell me
22:19
something. All
22:25
right, go this way. We're going to run
22:27
cuz there's nothing here.
22:33
What are you doing here?
22:35
Um, I'm walking. It's open.
22:39
That is a dead end. Good thing I have a
22:41
bolt gun. Don't run.
22:44
Nah,
22:45
I'm not going to. I'll shoot you though.
22:51
He's choking on his milk.
22:52
Why are you choke? Like he's choking.
22:55
He's choking on his milk.
22:56
Get the map. Get the map.
22:58
What map?
22:58
Behind you. That map.
23:00
The map. Get a map. Got to get a map. I
23:02
don't want the map. I've been fine
23:04
without the map so far.
23:05
Take a map.
23:07
Please take a map.
23:08
I think it's fog of world unless you
23:10
collect the maps. So like it unlocks as
23:13
you explore it. But
23:15
it's a no map run.
23:18
No map percent.
23:22
Mhm.
23:23
And speaking of like in the first
23:25
episode, I think we make a comment about
23:26
like speedrunning this game.
23:29
Bang.
23:30
Um,
23:31
yeah, I'm doing a great job on hour 17.
23:35
Speedruns of this game do exist. So,
23:38
there's a way that you can early on like
23:42
get through a door and like
23:45
skip half the story,
23:46
skip to like this chapter.
23:51
To be fair, I used to be more of like a
23:52
any% kind of guy. Like watching, not
23:55
like actually playing. Not any% like
23:57
100% kind of guy.
23:59
Hi,
24:01
I've already saved. You mean nothing to
24:03
me.
24:07
Don't make me do it.
24:09
What the That's what I thought.
24:12
They're just scared, bro. They're
24:14
terrified.
24:16
Oh, yeah. We're doing this again, huh?
24:18
What do you want? What do you want? What
24:20
do you want?
24:22
Don't make me do it. I'll do it.
24:28
Stupid. It's fire.
24:33
You can't you can't you can't tell fire
24:35
what to do.
24:37
You're supposed to go through there.
24:39
You can't tell fire what to do.
24:41
You can't.
24:43
Damn. My access tuner isn't powerful
24:45
enough.
24:48
There has to be a way.
24:51
Hey, look. A upgrade for your access
24:53
tuner.
24:54
Wow.
24:55
How convenient.
24:57
That's conveniently convenient.
24:59
as opposed to inconveniently convenient.
25:03
Hi
25:04
again. We just went through this.
25:10
Ah, it's right.
25:11
Run back through the fire to get and run
25:13
away. That makes sense.
25:15
It does. Don't question them. They're a
25:18
very smart alien.
25:20
Are they though? Are they really?
25:27
Holy goodness. Can a fella exist in
25:29
these days and ages?
25:31
Uhoh.
25:32
I don't Okay, he's stupid.
25:42
Um,
25:47
you see me?
25:49
Oh, thank you for waiting.
25:51
How nice of him.
25:56
Oh, you didn't complete it.
25:58
No, I I I backed out of it because I
25:59
heard them behind me.
26:02
Gee,
26:03
it's nice of It's nice of nice of him to
26:05
wait though her to wait it to wait.
26:09
Already in the system. Just punch the
26:11
dash.
26:11
What about you?
26:12
I'll punch you.
26:16
Oh,
26:16
cut scene. Watch him get on the ship
26:19
behind you cuz he he was technically
26:21
hunting you at that point. We leave
26:24
together. It's like, woo, finally. I
26:26
hated that place.
26:29
Cypher tried to kill you so many times.
26:33
I just hated the semester. I just hated
26:34
that space station. Where are we going
26:36
now?
26:37
Uh, the new space station. I hate space
26:40
stations. That's why they killed me.
26:45
Exactly.
26:47
I want to be on a planet. That's all I
26:49
wanted. I just want to be on a planet.
26:51
Come on. I mean, in our defense, we did
26:53
try to send you back to a planet.
26:57
And then what happened?
27:02
All right, alien. This is your stop.
27:07
Welcome aboard the Anodora.
27:14
Not sure how much
27:17
I'm not sure how much longer the
27:18
episode's going to last cuz I'm pretty
27:20
sure it's next time on Couch Goblin.
27:21
I I I I agree with you in that
27:23
sentiment.
27:25
So, uh yeah.
27:28
Sheesh. Doing stuff.
27:30
How you feeling?
27:32
You know what? I felt pretty I I made
27:35
progress for once. Yes, I did.
27:36
You didn't really die that many times. I
27:39
don't think
27:42
it wasn't horrible. Editing me doesn't
27:44
have to like put a counter on screen or
27:46
anything like that. That would be
27:48
stupid.
27:49
That'd be stupid.
27:49
I'm really I'm really not going to do
27:51
that. That's
27:52
I am what I am doing.