Up next in 10
The Goblins begin the globe trotting part of their adventure.
*This series will be presented without censorship. Viewer discretion is advised. Thank you for your understanding.*
This is episode 2, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here, when there are more episodes in the series.
The Goblins:
@argos101
@larsburrito
#indianajones #indianajonesandthegreatcircle #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
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0:00
Hey, you are a professional. Couch goblins is a professional. Yo, do
0:06
you see his back? Do you see the thing on his back? That's actually It was like so bad. Holy transition, Batman.
0:13
Speaking of Batman, did you know that Canada actually hates Batman? It's another bad fact about Canada. I know we
0:18
were just talking about it and the way to date the video.
0:25
Get double dated, Ed. I wish I could get a date. Yeah, you don't want two of them. You don't want
0:31
to be one of those people that are cheaters. I thought I wasn't recording for a second. I was about to cry. You don't want to be one of those people that do cheating stuff. That's like the
0:37
worst person. Oh, absolutely not. I'm not that stupid. Then again, I can barely get I can't get
0:42
anyone to go on a date with me. So, I mean I mean, you never ask me.
0:48
Um, longist relationships never work. Oh, yeah. I knew you were going to long
0:54
relationship never work. Yeah. Oh, I got [ __ ] whiplash. I thought that was the radio. Babe,
1:05
chest club. Hey, that's how I feel about chess, too. I just go in a circle and I don't know
1:11
where I'm going. It's crazy. By the way, can we just go back and make a comment about that transition between
1:17
the main menu to the actual game? Yeah, that was cool. I like that. That was really cool.
1:24
I'm going in a circle. I'm going insane. You you hit continue game and Indie just
1:30
kind of knocks out of knocks himself out of a idle animation and then just continues on.
1:36
Brody coffee door. Hello, my bro.
1:43
We can work. I cut him out of his conversation.
1:49
So, this is where this is where I keep my my uh picture of uh clothed ladies.
1:55
Yes, right there. That looks Catholic to you, doesn't it? That's a good dress, isn't it? I I love the Vatican secret.
2:02
You actually kind of sound like Indie. This is where this is where I keep my my fashionistas.
2:08
I I'm a big fan of uh of fashion. So, I keep it right here.
2:13
It belongs in a museum. This is this this dress belongs in museum, of course. Yeah,
2:19
Dawson seems the likely choice. Maybe Kitrich.
2:25
I just realized the video is going to be so copyright claimed from Indiana Jones music. Huh. Sucks. Anyway,
2:34
I How long is that? I am going to do the best that I can. No, don't even don't even worry about
2:39
it. Don't even worry about it. I'm probably going to do a couple of test uploads of the music being There's
2:46
probably They probably made game specific audio. They'd had to have known, right? Beautiful journal, isn't it?
2:52
I would think so. from on a journal. It's a book. But luckily with how we're talking over
2:57
it, hopefully YouTube is kind of stupid in this case. Doesn't say. I mean, YouTube's copyright adventure.
3:03
Maroon 5. That's my favorite band. How' they know? Maroon 5 signed it. Get that
3:08
out of here. I hate Maroon 5. What about Maroon 1 through four?
3:16
We don't talk about those. Just like a mambo one through four. We don't talk about the other 181 blinks.
3:22
All right. We only talk about blink 182. Open my journal. Okay. Go to college.
3:28
It's good. I can press E specifically. Yo, the
3:35
adventure bag alert. You should go back and pack your suitcase.
3:42
No. No. My suitcase. All the items you need are
3:47
all the items that it's telling you to pack are in your office. This is not my office.
3:53
I got my giant pendant. Put that in there. You know, you can talk to me.
3:58
This will be my favorite record. Put that in there. There's nothing to say, Marcus.
4:05
That's Brody. Okay. Question for you since you just packed a record.
4:11
Are you a hipster? And do you have any vinyls? No, I am an adult man who pays taxes. I do not I cannot afford vinyls.
4:19
My whip in there for bedtime. Whoa. Get my favorite picture of my cat. I put
4:27
it in the grave. I still put that right next right on the fridge when I get
4:32
home. I didn't know what to say. It wouldn't have made a difference. She had her mind. Is this going to be what I see what I
4:40
hear the whole episode? Yes. Why would the for your commentary your cat mommy?
4:46
Exactly. And there's only one way to find. They should have hired me to do the voice acting. I didn't realize how good
4:51
I was. Italy. I mean, the college would never sanction leave for this. Not in the middle of midterms. I mean,
4:57
Marcus, what's done is done. I mean, who cares about mental expedition? But it was Marcus. I got to go to Italy. I got to
5:03
go try what a capray is. Come on. She wasn't there. Why are his teeth so yellow? I'm going
5:09
to brush my teeth after this. You know what? But I will say Capri salads not all uh not all what they uh
5:16
talk them up to be. I feel like if you had a if you had like a capres style pizza, you'd be a much
5:21
bigger fan of it. I've had one before. Once again, not my cup of tea.
5:27
That's fair. Indiana. To be fair, capres salad is just the setup for tomato mozzarella cuz tomato
5:33
and mozzarella together. Get some balsamic on there. It's light and it's nice. It's not like a meal, but it is
5:38
like a good like little little snackeroni. Yeah, although I do hate the lighter
5:44
quote unquote meals because my my parents are on a health craze currently
5:50
and it's pissing me off. Hey, look the traditional uh scene transition for
5:56
Wow. meet me in Vatican. Stop stop
6:03
Vatican not safe. It's like in the wait for you at village steps. Stop. Subtlety is a virtue.
6:10
Stop. It's It's like the Family Guy cutaway. It's like Family Guy, stop.
6:16
We've heard that you were trying to get an Emmy. Stop. Stop. Stop.
6:23
Outside the Vatican City where I jump over my fences. My place to go work out. Let's do this.
6:31
How did you jump over a fence that has a lot of bar wire on the top? He jumped over this fortress.
6:38
Yeah. Hello. Get [ __ ]
6:43
Wap. Good thing I brought this with me. I'm just a tourist whip.
6:49
That is the worst parry button I've ever seen. Holy. Hang on. I got this on my
6:54
I mean, I believe this is I believe this is a game that was designed to be played on a controller.
7:03
Um, you do realize that uh this is supposed to be a stealth mission, right?
7:10
That thing's fine. Because there's another fascist that's coming for you now.
7:15
Yo, another person who likes fashion just like me. That's not
7:22
You know what? There's Assassin's Creed now. Get up here.
7:31
[Music] Damn.
7:38
forgot how useful a whip can be as not a weapon. DND 5B has really ruined that for by making it a D4 damage. And then
7:45
every GM every time I try to use like, "Oh, well, you wouldn't really be able to use like, man, well then never mind. I'll use a freaking long sword like
7:52
everyone else. My fault." LeBron. Yeah, I have my uh character planned out
8:01
for our third campaign of Tavern Heroes. Nice.
8:07
So, it's going to be fun. Oh, you're going
8:12
to go for a two on two. A twoon one, I should say. Ah, I don't know how to stealth attack. It's fine. Oh, hi there. That's not the
8:20
parry button. [ __ ] I can block though. Or I can parry him. Watch this. This is
8:26
how we do it down in Bronx. That's how we do it in Brooklyn.
8:31
Yeah. I just looked over at Discord. It's like
8:37
Lars Burrito is currently streaming Indiana Jones. It's like no [ __ ] Sherlock.
8:43
Oh, broom. Let's do this. Get to do some cleaning.
8:48
Yeah, got him. Yo, shovel. Even better. Got to go bury a body.
8:58
Oh, the news article. Let's see here. Pope is ill. Yeah, the Vatican is concerned about the pope's
9:03
determined physical condition. Is this the end of the era? Reports about the supreme pontiff's grave illness sent
9:09
rumors of the holy sea raising questions about the future of the church and his position on a moral authority and
9:16
millions blah blah blah. Anyway, oh, is that Jesus? Melina's propaganda mouthpiece.
9:23
Love that guy. Oh, is that Jesus? My favorite carpenter. I love that guy.
9:30
What is wrong with you? Got a bandage. Oh, use a bandage. Okay. Yeah, I can tell by that overlay
9:37
specifically, Jordan. When I say that overlay specifically, zoom in on each time. Uh, I can tell that this game is
9:43
meant to be played under controller. Like, look at that overlay. That is awful. I have a gun. Didn't want to tell
9:50
me that game that I have a gun. Well, obviously it's a stealth.
9:55
You didn't You didn't ask about the gun. Why would we tell you about it? Stealth is an option that you want to
10:02
consider because I've played this part of the game and it is definitely one you
10:09
want to consider. I'm not going this way.
10:14
Really? I saw you climb Yeah, you climbed this thing with barb wire.
10:19
Oh, those spikes are a little too close together. I could accidentally prick my finger on it on the way up. I don't have
10:25
any band-aids with me. Guess I've got to go around. Is that Jesus? No.
10:31
Is that Jesus? Again, you could like break the thing open. Whatever. This is the 1940s. I
10:39
didn't think about that back then.
10:46
I think there's only like one. Oh my goodness. I can't go anywhere, dude. This sucks.
10:52
Are there stairs inside that you maybe? Probably. Absolutely.
10:58
Maybe. Probably. Absolutely. Design. It sucks that
11:05
there. It sucks. There's about one fact they know about this game and it's the worst fact to know.
11:11
It's like it's it's a thing that it's a thing that I It's a thing that I actually kind of like and it's a weird thing to also say. Oh, map of the castle
11:17
tow and the secret passage of the Vatican. Yeah, this will come handy. This will come in handy. I can see where
11:24
I'm at. So, what's the fact you know about the The one fact that in most games that around this era they will censor the
11:31
swastika but I like the fact that they kept it historically accurate. You can
11:37
actually see the swastika. I hate I hate it when media tries to like suppress history. You know what I mean?
11:42
I mean there there's the saying that you know this is probably you know the not the most uh
11:48
Yeah. Again sorry to bring it up. I was just really happy when I was like oh it's going to
11:53
suck because they're going to do like the Red Cross or whatever. Iron Cross, but
12:00
there's the saying if you, you know, don't learn history that you're doomed to repeat it.
12:06
Yeah. So, it's like you need to learn about this these periods of history or
12:11
you got you got to you got to respect history. Take this fascist.
12:20
He's your friend. Oh, he didn't even know. He doesn't even know that I killed his friend. I killed your friend. He's mine now.
12:27
Take that. Yeah. How's that feel?
12:32
Yeah. Here, take your friend, shove. Bop.
12:38
Oh, that's a cool weapon. Bop. All right, let's get this going.
12:45
Oh, shovel. Yeah. I don't know. I I always have a sour tip. Like back in the olden times,
12:50
if if you go back play Black Ops 1 zombies on Kino or Toten Swastika because you know back then, but if you
12:56
go to Black Ops 3 Chronicle, Zombie Chronicles where they remastered the map, it is the red or the iron. I keep
13:02
calling it the red for us. It's the iron quas. Oh, my weapon.
13:08
You broke your shovel. It's okay. I got something better on dustpan. Just as good. I like how you I
13:14
like how you dropped the baton that everyone else has for a dustpan.
13:19
They'll never know it was me. You're just going around and you're just
13:25
going around and cleaning up people's acts. Yeah. And uh letting them go to sleep.
13:33
Let him sleep. Oh, hi.
13:38
Yeah. Clean up your act. That's what you do. A punch out. Look at that. He's really
13:45
angry. You can see cuz he's red in the face. That's how angry he is.
13:51
Punch out.
13:56
That's a map. That's a broom. I pressed E to do the thing and it didn't do the thing. Brawling.
14:08
Store stamina when enemies knocked out. I like that. I like that spec. It's a
14:13
book. I earned an achievement. It won't pop up on the overlay or the
14:20
That's weird. So, you're not proving to us that you got the achievement. You're just saying that.
14:25
Yeah. I've totally played this game. I've played these games before. Mhm. He said in the not meme way because he's
14:32
sick of the meme at this juncture in his life. Please tell me you know the meme so I don't have to explain it.
14:37
With money. Uh yeah. No, you don't. You don't know the meme? Totally.
14:42
You don't know the meme? You know I've played these games before. You don't know that.
14:48
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Based off of off of a Squid Game. Yeah. Yeah.
14:53
Never got the hype behind that. I did not I watched it I watched it post hype and
14:58
I I was like I actually kind of like it. I watch watched it post hype. But it's like there are a lot of other
15:05
shows that I would prefer. Yeah. Um, it's one of those things where I feel like it that's good, but it got overhyped.
15:12
Yeah. Order be obedient to keep your gun
15:17
holstered and behave. Give you any troubles. Talk to Father Ventura.
15:23
It's Stan Devito's letter. Do the black shirts walk with the Vatican?
15:30
Stuck. I don't know if I want that. On second thought, now I'll take it.
15:38
I'm going to be doing this damn voice the whole game and it's your fault specifically. Yo, biscati, let's go.
15:45
Oh, sweet. Hang on. Oh, yeah, that apple from earlier. Let me eat that. Actually, I don't want to eat that.
15:50
That'll last longer. We get the basis. You can tell that this game took place
15:57
when it did. You want to know why? because he would not have been able to get that apple on the plane at all if it
16:05
was nowadays. That's how you can tell it's back in back in the olden times. I mean, let's face it, half the stuff in
16:12
that bag couldn't be uh brought on modern aircraft.
16:18
True. Hey, you're going to knock somebody's lights out. Get it. Candle holder. Never
16:25
mind. Yeah. Candle opera.
16:33
stuck. Let me got to got to jiggle the handle a little bit. There we go.
16:39
I know that's getting on someone's nerves and I love it.
16:44
That's what I base That's what I based my whole life around. They deserve it.
16:49
Take this fascist. Huzzah. I miss
16:55
you. Sure you should be doing this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Idiot. How's that
17:00
feel? Yeah. That's what they do back in the Call of Duty lobbies. Wrecked.
17:07
That's what they do back in the code. Yeah, they they had Call of Duty back then. They just called it war.
17:13
Um, I will say the where you need to go is um you went a very roundabout way.
17:19
Did you hear that? Holy [ __ ] The [ __ ] power behind that distance on that. Jeez. First of all, we
17:26
both said catch at the same time and then it did absolutely nothing. And then you just got freaking mollywapped. This
17:33
game's awesome. Holy hell. Hey, I've been here before. I've been in this room before.
17:42
I'm going to check a thing just just for me. Okay. For some reason, I I didn't see specifically the um me
17:50
talking audio track. I thought the whole time for both recordings I wasn't talking but like I had like the fear in of God. So I was you can hear it you can
17:58
see it but for like a like a whole at least millisecond I was like oh [ __ ]
18:03
the content in bits they're gone. Okay so basically it's just me talking
18:09
to nobody. Yeah but having a fullon conversation. You're reacting to as if someone was
18:14
talking like Harrison Ford the whole time closer.
18:21
Shimmy shimmy shimmy a shimmy a shimmy. Don't worry, you're uh not insane.
18:27
Don't worry, you're not alone. You got me, Brody.
18:35
Don't jump. You have so much to live for. Name four things.
18:41
Um Uh-huh. I'm waiting. Oh, is that Jesus?
18:46
That's one. Friends. I'm at one.
18:52
So they're I'm at two now, right? No, you're at one. Why?
18:58
There's family, friends, comma, alcohol, comma. Oh, now you got Now you got two. Now you got two.
19:05
Um, video games. Oh, now you got seven. Seven. Okay. Keep going. How you
19:12
can you just I'm curious. How do you count?
19:17
I can lean. Those are the worst buttons to ever lean with.
19:26
Weird buttons. Oh, it's because Q and E have to be used when I'm Oh, damn it. I dropped my
19:31
torch. Q and E have to be used when I'm Oh, damn it. I dropped my torch. Q and E have to be used when Oh, damn it. I
19:37
dropped my torch. Q and E are used in like the journal. So, they probably didn't want you to do,
19:43
but Oh, is that an apple? Love apples. Catch this fascist
19:48
Q and E are used for Oh, I took my torch. Oh, no. No. I don't want to kill the
19:55
dog. Get out of here. Get away. The dog's privy, but I don't care.
20:03
The dog also looked a very low polygon for me. Don't worry, I got this. [ __ ]
20:12
He's down there. Must have been the wind. He's down there.
20:19
Got him. He'll never know. Yo, a lucky hat. After being knocked out, Indie can
20:25
pick his fedora using E. I'd love that.
20:30
Catch this fascist. All right, he's down.
20:35
What a way to like That's the last thing you saw is just umbrella. umbrella and guy with a hat
20:43
that has his fist coming towards you. Oh [ __ ] Hey, hey, hey, hey, be cool. Be cool.
20:49
Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
20:55
Uh-oh. Be cool. Hey yo, hey. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Yeah, that's what I
21:00
thought. Um,
21:05
this is definitely a Bethesda game. He clipped through the wall. It's definitely a Bethesda game.
21:12
Oh, captain's key. A key. Wow.
21:20
Hey, hey, hey. Be Hey, be cool. Be cool. No. No. Bad. Get off of me.
21:26
Come on.
21:31
[ __ ] We're We're cool. We're cool. You and me. We're cool. Goes to sleep. He's He's just kind of
21:37
like, "Okay, I don't want to." Good boy. I'll just I'll just sleep. Hey. Hey. Spo.
21:44
I'm bashing the buttons. This game is zero out of 10. You cannot pet the dog.
21:51
Hey. Hey. Hey. Be cool. Be We're cool. Whoa. Be cool. We're cool. We're chill. We're
21:57
friends. Put that away. We're friends. He He attacked first. Put that away.
22:06
a pool. Want to have a want to have a I'm going to have some biscati. That is the best
22:12
thing they got in in Italia. Nice.
22:20
Yo, go fetch. You're a bad dog.
22:26
Fly sweater. Perfect. He's a good boy. Oh, I found a better weapon.
22:34
I hate the way his eyes are looking at me. Man, [ __ ] your priceless art.
22:40
It did not break. It didn't.
22:46
That is insane. How did you not break? You left the clear in the angel's courtyard gate again. I returned to the
22:52
captain's office. You're lucky you didn't notice anything. Next time I won't cover for you. Remember that. Mario.
22:58
Mario. Interesting note. Can't I can't believe Mario is here.
23:03
Yeah, I need to grease these logs,
23:10
man. I should get an achievement for not killing that dog. I I love the vastly different play style
23:16
compared to how I played the game. Well, I mean, the worst part is I'm I'm on I I picked hard when they asked for
23:22
my I didn't I didn't like pick the super difficult one. I just picked hard and it's been pretty easy so far. Guess I
23:28
didn't expect a pro seasoned gamer to play this. skill. I'm I'm the kind of person who it's like
23:34
I don't judge you for uh what difficulty you play on
23:40
just because the difficulties exist so anybody can enjoy. So it's like if you want to play on
23:45
story mode by all means go ahead enjoy the game. If you want to be a massochist and play
23:52
on like oh this will murder you within the first 10 seconds or anything like that then
23:59
so be it. Cough cough. Dark Souls. Cough cough. All right. You can't say that. I was
24:04
going to say I like I like that games have the options for difficulty. However, I much prefer when a game
24:11
doesn't have a difficulty cuz then it has like a set like oh we expect you to play the game at this
24:17
level. You know what I mean? Which I know Dark Souls comes to mind, but like I I much prefer when the game
24:23
doesn't make me pick a difficulty. Or if they do, they have like this is the intended difficulty for you to play on.
24:28
Yeah, that's always been my stickick, which have a shovel in my mind. In my mind, from what I've
24:34
seen, there are a couple games where it's like you're not it always has the difficulty already
24:39
like highlighted and it's not usually the easy one. So, in my mind, it's like, oh, the um
24:46
it's already over the suggested difficulty as well. So, wait, I have a I have biscati. [ __ ]
24:54
Whatever. I want it anyway. You ruined it. Now I want a shovel. Or I want a hammer.
25:02
Now I want somebody's head to bash in the village steps.
25:08
I tried. Ah, yes. The most important weapon of all. It's a It was a happy face upside down.
25:14
Catch this fascist. Uh-oh. He's a big boy.
25:20
Hi. How's your day going? How's the wife?
25:28
Uh, look over there. Ow, that wasn't very nice.
25:35
As was all mine. Yeah, take it. Have it your way.
25:42
Is this Burger King though? Yes. I'm Indiana. I'm Indiana. Onion ring.
25:48
Is that you? Antonio is Antonio
25:53
bash his head in with frying pan. I'm sorry. Yes, it is me. Is that you, Indie? Dustpan.
26:02
It's like I just saw I'm watching a re-watching a TV show
26:08
and like there's a character in it that's like known for Dude, is that Jesus? Dude, is that Jesus? Yo,
26:15
sorry. That was said, who is Father Ventura? But Um, there's a character in the show
26:22
that's known for like punching and like fighting. He's really good at it. And somebody just makes an off-handed
26:28
comment. It's like, you know, like one of the one of his victims are Yeah.
26:33
Um, oh, for most people this is the last thing that they see, isn't it?
26:38
It's like, yes, it is. Get out of here.
26:45
Oh, man. He can't hear me. He's got his AirPods in. [ __ ] Well, you're supposed to be listening to
26:50
what's going on above you. What's going on up there? Can't hear them anymore. I can't hear them. There's too many cobwebs.
26:57
Yes, cuz that's how someone won this hand. Tell with all the aces. Aces and sixes.
27:04
Why are there multiple aces of spades? Guess they're waiting for No, that's ace of twos.
27:11
Ace of twos. Yeah, it's my favorite card in the deck.
27:16
Okay, that's the episode title. Ace of twos. The ace of twos.
27:21
Damn it. Need to grease these locks. I hate Italia. Just as a suggestion, PJ.
27:27
Yeah, don't gamble. We made it. Really? Everyone always says the
27:33
opposite when lucky things happen to me. Bad name in a long time. How many years has it been? 19.
27:39
Since don't get me started on 19. It's my least favorite years. 1999.
27:45
It hasn't happened yet. That's why I hate it. Follow me. My least favorite year is 1998. It also
27:51
hasn't happened yet, but that's the year I was born. I hate 1987. That was a bad time.
27:59
I love that FNAF got so popular that the that just saying 1987
28:05
triggers an entire generation of people. Bite of 87.
28:11
Was that the bite of 87? I mean, I've also, speaking of the 80s,
28:19
um, have been re-watching a couple of YouTubers play through the game Papers,
28:24
Please. Papers, Please. You ever see uh That's Not My Neighbor.
28:29
Yes. Yeah. It's similar to Pap like a modern twist of Papers, Please
28:36
modern I mean, modern retelling.
28:44
Is he doing the gritty? He's doing something over there.
28:51
I learned this from the Fortnite like that.
29:00
[Music] This is why I didn't trust a Mario. He didn't know how to hit the gritty.
29:06
They seem to be particularly on edge this morning.
29:12
Dude, at least take your ear your earpods out. What are they even supposed to signify?
29:17
Like, is there like a thing I don't Anyway, next time on Couch Goblins cuz I I think I think those were just meant to
29:23
be like um Well, they probably have like a No, this is the 1930s. This is not It was not
29:29
hearing aids. Does not exist. Probably I That's a religious thing. I
29:35
just don't get it. Someone in the comments will explain it a lot. I mean, it's possible. Yeah,
29:41
anything's possible because there's Jesus.
29:48
I like how you unpause for that when it's probably just going to just show the outro. It's going to show the It's going to
29:53
show the outro just for no reason.
29:58
Oh my god. So yeah. Um,
30:05
I'm liking the game so far, though.
#Spoofs & Satire