Up next in 10
We dive back into Aperture Science for the first time sense this channel began.
This is episode 1, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here, when there are more episodes in the series.
The Goblins:
@argos101
@larsburrito
#indianajones #indianajonesandthegreatcircle #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
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0:00
Hey, welcome back to Cash Goblins. This is definitely not my second attempt
0:07
recording this series because um um this is only take two. Only take two.
0:13
I just wanted to record I just wanted to record the RTX version of Portal. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's
0:19
the only reason. Did I change what audio source Portal's going through? Oh, I know why it's not doing anything.
0:26
You know what would help PJ if you hit record? No, I I I hit record, but um give me just a moment here.
0:33
So, is are we are we scrapping that? Are we still going? We're still going. I just Okay,
0:39
come.
0:45
There we go. Much better. Look at this quality.
0:51
Wow. This is only possible with the power of RTX. Holy shadows, Batman. Holy shitty
0:58
shadows, Batman. Yeah, it is kind of a shitty shadow. There's RTX. I want a refund.
1:10
Hello there.
1:15
Sorry. Damn. It's going to be stuck in my head all day. Now, you might say all day like, "Oh, only
1:22
like a couple more hours." No, like seven to six hours. are the primary goals in all enrichment
1:28
center activities. Serious injuries may occur for your own safety and the safety
1:34
of others. Please refrain from 11 10 9 8
1:40
Please refrain from refraining. Please refrain from being a framed
1:45
individual. Please refrain from roaming around or looking down.
1:52
Please refrain from running around at the speed of sound.
1:58
Holy [ __ ] That's a good looking button. It is. And look at this cube.
2:06
Look how it looks like I'm watching one of those
2:11
like um uh Minecraft videos with like super realistic blocks
2:18
with like the sand and [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
2:23
equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science weighted
2:28
storage cube. It's funny that even though this is with RTX now, it looks not as good. Like in
2:35
terms of like I know like when it came out it was like wow. But now like modern day it looks like okay.
2:41
I mean yeah you can Yeah.
2:48
Oh bad. Ooh,
2:54
perfect. Look at her jump.
3:04
Can you do the backwards long jump? I wonder. Uh, let me
3:11
Yep. I don't know if you can. Maybe that that didn't look correct. I think it's
3:16
supposed to be like a crouch jump. I don't think it's like a backwards crouch jump,
3:22
but I think you have to be like really good at it probably. Oh, that's cool. You can kind of see the
3:28
shaft in the That's cool. That's cool. You can kind of see the
3:34
loading screen. You sound surprised. Glados taste of blood is not part of any
3:40
protocol, but Damn, I'm yawning. Sorry. Wow. Science material emancipation grip which may
3:48
inmate brought to you by the color orange and
3:57
hi. Wow. Very good. You are now in possession of
4:05
the Aperture Science handheld portal device. With it you can create your own
4:11
portals. These intradimensional gates have proven to be completely I think I know which cameras I've missed
4:18
for the achievement of the device. Do not look directly at the Is it different on the RTX than it is
4:24
the regular submerge? Um I think they're the same cuz it looks like my it looks like my
4:30
achievement's carried over.
4:36
man. Yo, it looked cool when you cleared a
4:41
gun like that. Now it's got orange sparks on it. It's so cool.
4:46
It is actually kind of cool. It's It's kind of an interesting, you
4:53
know, it's not really a remake, but it it's um it turns a 10 gigabyte game into
4:59
a 30 GB game. That's for sure. Um, I'm I'm being serious, by the way.
5:06
It is a 30 good game now. Kind of looks like the um
5:12
the visual difference is what I what I expect between a game calling itself a remake and a remaster.
5:19
Yo, is that a QR code? It looks like a QR code. I'm very scared to see what it is. Oh, no. It's Valve. I'll scan that real
5:25
quick. Hang on. Audience, don't scan that. Don't be an idiot like me. Oh, it is pulling something up.
5:32
It's Nvidia. It pulls up GT RTX for Nvidia. It does. The Omniverse kid from six days ago.
5:40
That is very annoying. That is horrible.
5:46
Hey man, they get to plug themselves. All right. What's the problem? I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense
5:51
that it would that it leads to an Nvidia because of, you know, it was a green QR code. I looked at I used it, too. Um,
5:58
editing Jordan put a screenshot of what it pulled up in the We just said what it pulled up. What the
6:04
[ __ ] It's just gonna be the Just show Just to show it. Just to show what it just to show. It's just Nvidia website.
6:11
You're doing quite well. See if it's under all of them. Yeah, I can. Why should it just be under
6:18
that specific one? The rest don't have it. We found the first Easter egg ever. No, it's under
6:24
all of them. Yeah. Boom. Now it's lame. Boo. You ruined it.
6:31
Oh, that was almost cool.
6:36
POV anything ever.
6:42
I tried it again. Oh god, I'm afraid. Once again, excellent work. As part of a
6:50
required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
7:01
Oh yeah, I forgot to do a thing. I'll do it right now, but you won't even know what I'm doing. I'm scared now. Are you renaming your
7:08
your the video? You definitely did not just record. No. Are you being serious?
7:14
Yes. Mhm. I'm just doing a thing real quick. It's like you just keep going. Okay.
7:20
How the [ __ ] is this broken? All right, we're good. The lack of context.
7:27
You [ __ ] objects may be vital to your success. Do not destroy. Testing
7:32
apparatus. Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
7:39
Indeed it was because I am awesome.
7:44
Modest. Modest too. I am modest. and a big penist.
7:50
As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we
7:55
would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job.
8:00
Complete fabrication. The required test protocol. No, I forgot to make a playlist or
8:06
something, so I just had to like name it. Ah,
8:13
that's the kind of guy that was roaming around cuz now he's looking down.
8:18
So, one of the speedrunning strategies for this game is to just stand right before an elevator and wait for dialogue
8:25
to be over. Yeah. Just because the audio will finish
8:32
if you the audio will continue playing in the elevator if you just saw
8:38
um if you just saw like the audio continued as I was like waiting in the elevator
8:43
and then it started moving. So, you wait for it to finish and then you get in. For some reason, it's a little bit
8:49
faster. Okay. I don't know. I don't know, man.
9:00
I really like how the reason why the first recording attempt of this failed was because it didn't the encoding
9:07
overloads. I'm playing I'm now playing the version with the RTX enabled. warning devices.
9:13
Might be might be a full on like full in full out OBS exclusive issue.
9:19
You know what I mean? Like it's not because of like the game probably. Yeah.
9:24
Cuz I remember a long time ago I had an issue. Um
9:30
I don't know why or when it started, but it was with OBS. Uh, it was like a big stuttering thing or like I had recorded
9:36
like couple hours of gameplay and then found out after the fact that it was like stuttery.
9:41
Oh, that's annoying. Yeah. And I didn't know why it was so I just couldn't use the footage. Did you lose the whole the whole uh
9:47
footage? It it was back when I was doing Overwatch stuff. So, I was like, "All right, [ __ ] I'll just record more funny moments."
9:53
Mhm. It wasn't anything like big or massive. Do you not play Overwatch anymore? Uh well see the the issue is Marvel
10:01
rivals and then the second issue is um
10:08
for worse or damn damn I can't believe that happened both times. It's crazy.
10:15
Shut the [ __ ] up.
10:22
Uh the other issue is I don't really have friends that play it. M uh and if I'm going to like spend my
10:28
time with a shooter, I'd probably much I I much prefer the characters in Marvel Sludge. Sorry to interrupt you.
10:34
That does actually look nice. No, you're good. It's got the It's got the stink clouds in it. It looks good. It looks good.
10:42
Yeah. The the main issue is if I were like if like game to game, they're both pretty all right. You know what I mean?
10:49
But I just like to play more. I have a bigger variety of characters I can play in Marvel Rivals and have a lot more fun
10:55
than opposed to Overwatch where there's one character that I really like. Mhm. Yeah. I I keep meaning to download
11:02
and and play Marvel Rivals. Yeah. I mean, you're not you're not like the
11:07
biggest fan of competitive g competitive games, so I don't know if I could like recommend it to you. I mean, it's not they're not horrible.
11:14
It's it's just it's I kind of like the relaxing like play by yourself type of
11:21
thing. Hey PJ PJ pessimism remember this test chamber.
11:28
Why? Cuz I told you to. Cuz I told you to. Damn it.
11:35
That's not a very good reason. That's a very mean reason. It's like there's there's a guy on on TikTok. He does a he does a bunch of
11:40
like fitness stuff and he's like he's very wholesome. his wiener in his mouth. He'll just like randomly just like yell
11:47
[ __ ] in the middle of his recording like I forgot the [ __ ] milk cuz he also do
11:52
like cooking videos. Yeah, it's just again to reiterate
12:05
momentum. Yeah. Yeah.
12:15
Yeah. What are you doing,
12:26
man? I can't believe you didn't have those on by base.
12:31
Spectacular. You appear to momentum effects forward momentum or to be more
12:38
precise, how it does not. And it's so funny that I I enjoy things
12:45
that have like quote unquote competitive things to them that there's I literally do a thing where we play um a single
12:54
player game competitively together separately. With the with the bing with the with the bingo stuff
13:02
I forgot you for a moment. So it's like together separately. We
13:08
were playing a single player game together separately competitively. I mean,
13:14
with depending on the game, it it makes sense to like add your own extra challenges to it. Especially if you've
13:20
beaten it before. Yeah. Like, you don't play Fallout New Vegas or whatever the hell 50 times because
13:26
you like it. You play it because you add your own challenges to it and because you like it. I still play that one casually like for
13:32
like not videos. The enrichment center
13:41
reflections. Holy center. Wow.
13:46
We have technology. We have technology. That reminds me of the first time I
13:51
accidentally had RA tracing on playing Cyberpunk and just like looking at a puddle. I'm like, "Oh my god, that's the
13:59
buildings behind me. What the [ __ ]
14:06
That's so cool. That is hecking amazing.
14:12
Wow. Wow. Look at this toxic sludge. Wow. Look at the sludge. Wow. It has
14:19
fart clouds. Wow. That's how you know it's got quality.
14:28
Wow. Look at that. Look at those farts. Wow. Oh, don't do that to me.
14:36
Do that to him specifically.
14:58
I like how it's designed in a way where it looks like this. The toxic sludge level has like gotten lower.
15:04
Yeah. The device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once as part of an optional test
15:12
protocol. Going to miss the jump. You're going to miss the jump. The device is now more valuable than the
15:21
subject. That could have been bad.
15:27
Look at her feet. Jeez.
15:55
Oh, I meant to throw the other one so it like flame me across. Never mind.
16:03
I looked away for a second and then I just hear
16:09
and my brain just like slowly started to melt. [Laughter]
16:16
Oh man,
16:26
yeah, me too. Would you be able to fling yourself? Ow, that cough hurt.
16:41
We not talk about that. We're not talk We're not going to talk
16:46
about that. Like you're talking to like a kid that's like a disappointed teacher like Yeah.
16:53
Yeah. I get I do I I have been told I got a good um disappointed voice.
17:00
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like look what I drew in school
17:06
today, Mommy. Yeah. You drew this all on your own. I can tell.
17:12
You're seven. You think this is going to impress me? You're a [ __ ] Picasso. I can I can go
17:20
outside and piss this. Really? Hey, PJ. All right, PJ. Yeah. Never make up a pair.
17:26
Wasn't planning on it.
17:31
I wasn't playing on it. Good. Don't. Damn. Yeah.
17:38
Oh, dang it. They're too close together, man. You You placed it so terribly. Well, I also couldn't place them
17:44
correctly to begin with. [Music]
17:50
So, so how about that local sports team? Which one?
17:55
The local one. The local one. It's like a It's like a Michael Scott bit. Did you see the game last night?
18:01
Which one? You know, the game I just lost the game.
18:08
I don't understand why people do that. I don't know like what the whole reasoning.
18:13
I know. I know. I know. Spence is like huge on that associate will be to revive you with
18:20
cell. Good to know.
18:27
At least last time I checked. I don't know if like you know the times have changed.
18:34
I pay too many taxes to be able to do that. Well, the uh the game isn't over until the British prime minister uh announces
18:42
that he just lost the game. So, I mean, no.
18:47
Oh. Oh, failure. Failure. Failure. I missed my train.
18:53
Failure. I missed my train. Wow. I missed my train.
18:58
It is the biggest gaming fumble since Cloud9 C9. Shut.
19:03
And then got absolutely [ __ ] on for the rest of their existence cuz now people call it a C9. Shut the [ __ ] up.
19:10
Damn. Damn, that is the worst fumble. You speedrun this game? That's crazy.
19:16
I don't speedrun this game. You shouldn't. I'm sorry.
19:21
Going back to Going back to the I can tell. I can tell you drew this. I can tell
19:29
cuz you're seven. Oh, man. You know what? [ __ ] it. We're
19:36
going the lazy route. And by lazy, I mean
19:48
Yeah,
19:55
we I was waiting for it to shove you back out the door. We can no longer lie to you. When the
20:02
testing is over, you will be missed. A be missed. At least one person will
20:08
miss me when I'm gone. Yeah, but it's a fictional person, so really it's nobody.
20:16
I like how this episode is just me making fun of myself and you just making fun of me. It's like I I probably
20:21
deserve it. I'm not Abby. I'll I'll dogpile. Yeah. Although she'll still be mad at me
20:28
even though you're encouraging it. Well, I better encourage anything.
20:34
You just happen to be stupid and I was like, "Yes." science issues. I like how I'm skipping the entire test
20:40
chamber for this. [Music] And you are an excellent test subject.
20:47
First try. Okay, that whole test chamber. I might I
20:54
might uh go in and like record it separately like speed or maybe like put
20:59
I think that's funnier. put it in the lower corner of of like what you're supposed to do, but like the actual test
21:05
chamber is like 10 times that long. So, the enrichment center is
21:10
I think that's fun to all participants. Committed to the wellbeing of these nuts
21:16
will be available at the conclusion of the nice nailed it. Thank you for helping us help us all.
21:22
What the [ __ ] That was a sentence and I loved it. That was a sentence and a half. Oh, that was almost cool.
21:32
apparatus destroyed. You forgot you needed a second one to do that.
21:37
I didn't. I forgot I went through an emancipation grill.
21:46
Why you're so much slower in this game?
21:54
I need to go back. Sorry. Need to go back to my reality.
22:01
Did I go one too far? I think I went one too far. No. One more to the left. One more to
22:06
the left. Oh, okay. Uh, which left? Yes.
22:14
The one with weather. The weather got better.
22:22
Vital. Let's first try this [ __ ] God damn it. Probably not
22:30
the first try in question. How the Oh, I was like, how'd that get there? And
22:36
then my brain clicked like, oh yeah, that's how that got there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Afraid you don't need to do it instant. This game's made for babies.
22:45
Baby game. Unlike Elmo's Letter Adventure, which is
22:50
a hardcore game for grown men who pay taxes. Let's take a minute to appreciate like the lighting effect of the energy
22:57
particle going. That is cool. Yeah, I will say that's like I think the best uh addition.
23:05
Vital testing apparatus destroyed. Thank you for letting me know. Appreciate it.
23:11
Vital PP poo pooed orange. I know my colors.
23:17
God damn it. Can you stop that please? Sorry. Someone else pointed it out that
23:24
I do that and I can't stop it now. It's It's here forever. I mean, I do love it, but God,
23:29
how did that work? Okay, you know what? I'm not going to care. I'm I'm I'm [ __ ] it. We'll do it live.
23:35
[ __ ] it.
23:42
Yeah. I was told that I do um
23:50
and I quote too much. I was told I say specifically too much.
23:57
I don't think I I don't think I've heard you say like specifically, but I've heard you definitely do like the uh and I quote a lot. So,
24:04
and I quote been a specifically has been a new thing. There's also a haha smile.
24:09
Uh I've heard you say that a lot. I've definitely heard a couple haha smiles.
24:17
[ __ ] [ __ ] Wait, is it that way? It is that way.
24:25
Which one did I shoot? I need orange. The arrows are pointing that way.
24:33
Oh, that Oh, I can do that. Uh, I want to destroy the camera. I want to see if I can destroy the camera that way.
24:39
To be fair, honestly, it was just from like a bad like line of specifically and
24:44
then now apparently I say specifically too much. But honestly, it's not my fault. Darn it. I I was hoping that I could
24:50
like just sort the camera with how POB, you leave the chat alone for 5
24:57
seconds. How how is it in the how is it in the washing machine?
25:03
How did it how did it turn it on while it was inside of it? hide with that.
25:17
I remember my uh definitely not first attempt at recording this.
25:23
Okay, I keep getting This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.
25:28
Uh which one would give me more time? I probably should do the other one first. I got no time. I got no time to live. I
25:34
got no time to live. You know what I mean? The [ __ ] See, that means you don't know anything.
25:40
No, I wanted to do this one first. I'm an idiot. I am an idiot. What else is new?
25:49
Perfect. Nailed it. First try. Did you know how can
25:54
you know it's bad when like I'm surprised that I did something first try?
26:05
That's a thing though. Shows you a picture of the thing from the Fantastic 4.
26:13
Editing Jordan, you know what to do. I think Jordan, you know what to do. There's a thing. There's a thing.
26:19
There's a thing.
26:24
I'm surprised with how much progress I've made in what I'm going to do probably this one
26:30
and then um the appropriate chamber and then we'll end it after this one. We
26:38
are the champions androids apologizes for
26:44
I can't hear you Glennos. I'm too busy creating a sonic boom.
26:53
just splat against the wall. Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
27:02
Send assistance. You're shooting me through like four glass. Hi
27:09
guys. It's bullet pl. You may be wondering why I've gathered you here today. It's bulletproof grass. Everybody stop
27:16
shooting it. Vital apparatus destroyed. Why is his name invincible? Like I can
27:23
see him. Is he stupid? Shh. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to
27:29
sleep.
27:36
Portal, but it uhoh, he died.
27:43
Uh oh, he double died. My pause button on my uh stream deck doesn't work anymore. Hey uh we're back.
27:49
We're back. We're back. We're back. We're not back. Bonus maps. Why is it flashing like that?
27:55
Bonus. It's got bonuses. Bonus. Bonus.
28:00
Bonus. Boneless turrets.
28:06
Bone apple teeth. Testing apparatus destroyed.
28:15
Oh, thank you.
28:22
Dang it. Nice one. Nailed it.
28:27
Where do they turn off though? It's not like they took any damage. Can you not see me right here? There you
28:34
go. Why don't they just walk towards you? Are they stupid?
28:40
Oh, that's cool. Oh yeah, that's it's all coming together now.
28:46
Oh yeah, the color orange. It's all coming together.
28:51
The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is alive. It's tasty though. Look at it. Hello. Can I help you?
29:01
A trusted friend in science. Oops. Oops. I killed him.
29:06
Tasty. Tasty. Daisy.
29:13
Nice. Uh, wire.png there. Mhm. Mhm.
29:20
It's like on the N64 where the [ __ ] uh like the the gr like not the grass, but
29:26
the trees are like actually just four PGs stacked on top of each other. God.
29:32
Damn it. Target lost because you're so stupid.
29:37
Are you still there? This is going to end badly. Uh, do I have another one? I don't have another one. Hey, do you have another box?
29:43
I do have your older brother, though. The box. You had a second box. Yeah, but that's for the one that's down the hall.
29:50
No. Yes. The one down the hall doesn't exist if you never get to it.
29:57
Help. Miss.
30:05
That's for the one down the hall doesn't use it anyway. Fratric. It's uh fratricside. You It killed it. You killed its own brother.
30:11
No, it name is Patruse. Patruse? What? Yeah, Patruse. Why don't you use the box
30:18
to block the bullets? Why not use the box to kill?
30:26
Cuz then the box takes fall damage and then that's very mean to the box. The box deserves it. The box has no
30:31
feelings. The box deserves it. You deserve it then.
30:37
Nice. Gentlemen,
30:47
help. Help. Rev up them friars. They steer him ready for help.
30:53
You just killed your own brother. Put me down. Okay. Yeah. You're the You're the one that put
30:59
the gun to his head.
31:05
Boxes, Daisy.
31:11
[Music] Sorry, I can't stop yelling.
31:19
The box is too fat.
31:28
What's that one going to do?
31:39
You're next. No. Why don't you just drop in? Oh, no. There's
31:45
nothing. Never mind. And you take a lot of bullets.
31:50
You can take a lot of bullets in this game. Mhm. Goodbye. Yeah. Goodbye.
31:57
Hello. Hello. Let me whisper in your ear.
32:04
Mhm. Whispering ear tell you something we might like to hear.
32:10
That's going to happen to you GLaDOS. Vital,
32:17
look at all those bullets. Okay. Oh, 18 billion of them. I guess
32:23
let's not stand in front of the door. How about that? Um, why not?
32:31
Hi. It teleports behind you. It teleports behind. Yeah. Teleports
32:38
behind you indeed. Ha. How are you?
32:46
Who are you? The man who's about to kill you. This one's my friend.
32:51
The enrichment center once again reminds you that Android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign
32:58
of defiance. Did she say that because you were the
33:03
android walking over? I don't I don't know. Anyway, um um next to my couch goblins.
33:11
Patreuse. Sorry, I tried to cover up the yong by yelling petrus. It didn't work.
33:20
So, uh next time we have like actually
33:25
next episode we're going to finish the game. Yeah, [ __ ] it. We'll do two episodes. Yeah,
33:31
[ __ ] it. And the game just crashed.
33:37
That is perfect. I believe there were no overloads in the making of
#Humor