Up next in 10
This episode is all over the place to be honest.
This is episode 5, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM91_50BNoFoHMTSqCXyFFxzVfZen_JPN
The Goblins:
@argos101
@larsburrito
With special Guest :
@megacelestial8894
#hollowknight #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
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0:00
Hi, welcome to Couch Goblins. That was so boring.
0:05
I felt like I just got told that by the by the round Spongebob.
0:10
Hi. Welcome to Couch Goblins. I I don't know if you actually started
0:17
or not. Is that the episode that where he's like, I'm normal. Yeah, I'm normal. That's the Jordan
0:23
episode. Yeah. Now,
0:29
in the time that I was saying, "Welcome to couch goblins," I would think of something like clever to follow that up
0:34
with, and I didn't. And then I didn't.
0:40
It lost its luster. Get lost, Luster.
0:46
Get lost, Luster. Whoa. You don't.
0:52
Is he Waluigi? I guess.
1:00
[Music] Oh lord. Having to look back at this map and then look back at the map and then look back at the map and then look back at the
1:07
map. What about the map? Still same.
1:13
Okay. I'm redeeming a card, a gift card right now. And like as I was going to do it,
1:18
it just made me think of do not do not redeem the card. Do not I'm
1:24
redeeming the card. Yes. Redeem it. You
1:32
Steve, what are you talking about, honey? What are you talking about? Nice. I I I love those. They're They're
1:40
awesome. I'm redeeming the card. No, no. You redeem this in your own account.
1:49
Do not listen to me. Listen to me.
1:55
Although my my favorite is the ones where they start reciting like the
2:01
street address, like pull up Google Earth and then like show them their own office building or tell them their real
2:07
name or anything like that. Like I like the ones where it starts as
2:14
a video where they like it's just like, "Oh man, I'm going to redeem the card." And then it just like cuts to Jigsaw.
2:23
So, we've seen that. We've seen that you've been redeeming the cards. So, what I'm going to need you to do is
2:28
you need you need to take out both your eyeballs in 4 minutes or I will cut off your testicles.
2:36
Wait, should it be the other way around? you watch. I feel like losing your eyeballs would
2:42
be significantly worse. No, cuz you'll bleed you'll bleed out from your testicles.
2:51
It depends if you want your want kids or not.
2:57
I want to go up here first. That was not worth it. Just this
3:05
I had soul juice at home.
3:10
I want soldiers. We have soldiers at home.
3:16
Soldiers at home. Oh yeah. Doing good. This movement reminds me of immediately.
3:27
Hi. Large night. Start the city crust. Sure.
3:33
Get inserted, idiot. I got to go up here first.
3:40
Get inserted, idiot. This looks like the optional path. Let's
3:45
go down it first. Yeah. See, look. Worth. I always love how you can tell that
3:51
there's an optional path. I'm a knower.
3:57
I also love how it's obvious in Whoa. That same sound effect.
4:03
I love how in order the optional paths and hidden paths are kind of
4:08
the edge of the map because this is fog of roll. So the edge of the map as you
4:14
as you explore has like that white line around the edge of it. So it's like huh
4:19
I jumped up in that corner and there wasn't a and there's not a a white line in that area. There must be a path over
4:26
let me explore that real quick.
4:34
I know what you mean.
4:39
I also love how I just finished a pretty cool part of a map in Ory, like a
4:46
section in AI. And we're here, Jordan. I'm sorry.
4:52
We're here. And the reason I just say Jordan is because I told Jordan about this area earlier today.
4:58
Okay. Ah, but we are also your PJ. I think this is where I remember last
5:04
playing the game. So, there was a section in in um Ory
5:10
where it's like, "Oh, this is cool. Hey, a switch." So, I flip the switch and it's like I'm like, "Huh, I wonder what
5:15
that did." And all of a sudden, I look to the left of the screen, there's lava starting to come towards me. I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ]
5:21
I should not have just sat here and admire I should not have sat here and admired that. I'm going to die.
5:27
back. I for myself to send holds me back. I don't know, man.
5:35
That guy knows. Does he know? Is he a knower? He might be. We'll see.
5:43
[Music] Not a shower. And PJ, meanwhile, PJ in his mind is like, I thought we left that. God damn
5:50
it. [Music]
5:56
Did you see that? There's a new design for that shirt. A better design for that shirt.
6:02
Uh, yeah. You showed it to me. No, this way. I think I think I did send it to you.
6:08
Tragic. What? You went off screen just as it was displaying the text of the level. Oh, that sucks. I guess I'll never know
6:15
where I am. Do you want me to go back? Anyway, I'll go back. Okay. I don't know if it'll work now,
6:22
but I guess we'll find out. No, I'll go back up and then when I go back down, it'll be like Cydia to you. Cydia gangs.
6:31
[Music]
6:41
Oh, I failed. Looks down in disappointment. Looks down and disappointed with oneself like, "Oh,
6:48
oh, darn. Oh, I hope there wasn't an entire
6:56
That's a big [ __ ] knife. Now that's a knife.
7:02
What? Shaw. Why did the music just messed up?
7:11
Nah. Tink. Another nail to be honed. Leave it on
7:16
the ground and return later if you're still breathing. Oh, I thought you were somewhere else after nailsmith.
7:25
[ __ ] I'm poor. Damn it. At least I got money in the bank.
7:32
You actually had to pay him money for some reason. I thought he did it for free. Whoa. It's It's like you have to pay
7:37
money for goods and services. Wow. You know what, Jordan? We're in a bug society.
7:43
We live in a bug. And I'm not talking about Hollow Night. [Laughter]
7:48
No, I thought we lived in a lizard society run by lizard. Lizard.
7:54
Lizard. Lizard. Lizard. Lizard. Oh, now I need to go find some funs. Ow.
8:01
Lizard. Yeah, that's the sound effect that plays when
8:06
I walk in the door. Why is it now in both of my ears? I just do that.
8:13
Cuz there are two different uh sound effects that I have. I had
8:21
I got pads. Pog go pog go pads. Two hours later.
8:27
I got nice I have money now. No. Get strength in the nail.
8:35
[Music] Oh crap. My computer crashed. One second guys.
8:41
You're still Windows XP.
8:47
You must have like better than Windows 11 parallel universes behind you.
8:57
You uh you must have captain like 100 viruses just for the length of the
9:04
recording session. Turning on the computer. Turns on computer. Your your computer's
9:09
infected with a million viruses. No, the pop-ups are fun. It's always something different.
9:16
The pop-ups are fun as long as you don't click on McAfee. I don't even have McAfee.
9:22
[Music] Damn. Gardell Aari.
9:28
Zir needs to be. You mean anti virus? No. Vendazu.
9:35
He's the evil twin.
9:40
Yeah, it looks the same. your nails stronger, buddy. Nuh-uh. It looks the same. So now instead of now instead of doing
9:46
one damage, you do two damage. Sharpened. Ooh.
9:53
Can you make it even sharper? Oh yeah. Hey, if I give him a fail or
10:00
hyatt,
10:09
[Music] someone put their life's work into
10:14
creating that sculpture and you just destroyed it in one swing. Well, they shouldn't have put it there. You're a horrible You're a horrible
10:20
person, Peter. Jeez. Maybe they should have spent time making sure the world didn't collapse as it did or else I
10:25
wouldn't be here. The the the real boss part of this game is just a guy the sculptor that's mad at
10:33
you destroying his hard work. The more statues you destroy, the more hard he gets.
10:39
The more hard he gets. Hey, you saw all the dick rocks. Oh, you're right.
10:46
before I hit slip. E Jordan, it worked out at the end for the joke.
10:52
Yep. Wait, do I get crushed by that? Let's not find out. Oh, I don't. That's so cool. Attention to detail.
11:01
He But yes, I did mean to say the stronger
11:06
he gets depending on how uh many statues you break. Oh, cut scene.
11:13
Was that Among Us? Was that an Among Us reference? [Laughter]
11:18
No, it just was someone screaming. Yo, that's like the person I met and I
11:24
almost killed. Yo, it is the person I almost killed. Hi, person I almost killed. How are you?
11:32
God damn it. All right, let me read this.
11:40
Sh. [Laughter]
11:46
All right. Bye, friend. Get good,
11:51
man. I wish I listened to what she said.
11:58
I know. She was just saying like, "Oh man, that's not funny seeing you here in this sad city."
12:04
Anyways, bye. I get temple added to map.
12:09
Okay. Added a map. I don't have a map.
12:14
Added a map to your map. Thanks. I think someone just pulls out the marker to
12:20
like put where the marking is and just draws in the air. That's where it would be if you had a
12:27
map. There it is. That's what it would sound
12:33
like when you you spot it. Wave's hand in front of face.
12:39
You got this. Oh man, I wish I saw that show sooner because I I feel like I missed out on on
12:44
You did decent childhood from not seeing that sooner. It's okay. You've seen it now.
12:51
Oh, yeah. Amazing show. I'm definitely going to need to make sure I watch it again before I stop my Netflix subscription.
12:57
You're going to say before you die? No, I I get only a couple streaming
13:02
services at a time um just to kind of save money. Um, so
13:10
so right now I have um I have Netflix
13:16
and um I think I have Disney Plus also right now, but I do Disney yearly.
13:24
Netflix I do monthly. Yeah. Although I'm not sure if I'm going to renew Disney. I'm not I don't watch it
13:31
as much as I as I ought to. Yeah, but if you get a good if you get one of the good planes, you get it with like Hulu as well.
13:37
Yeah, right now I have right now I have Hulu with my Spotify plan. Okay.
13:43
Yeah, cuz I I have the student rate so it's Yeah. Um actually I I've been a student
13:50
for too long so they upped the price but I still get the same benefits. But um student plan you get you get five years
13:59
I believe and you get um it's like $5 a month you get ad free Spotify premium
14:06
and the ad supported Hulu plan.
14:11
[Music] Although I hate ads so I don't watch
14:18
Hulu that much. You want a break from the ads?
14:24
Yeah, my sister's family pays for uh Hulu with no ads, so I just
14:29
I would say I leech off of them. However, I pay for Paramount Plus and Netflix, so you know, we we even out.
14:37
Mhm. I really hate how strict they are about the password sharing. It's like,
14:45
come on. Yeah. As if Netflix isn't going to still be thriving just because I shared my
14:51
freaking credentials with one other person. Dude, you're the you're you are the
14:58
going to be the straw that breaks the camera's back. Oh no, Netflix is bankrupt now. This r this random person in the Midwest
15:05
shared his password. Now we're bankrupt. It wasn't our crappy original show. Who
15:13
was that? I don't actually I haven't actually watched that many Netflix originals. I'm just
15:18
I throwing shame for everything. Heard that. I heard that they're not good.
15:24
Some of them are okay, but then they canceled a bunch of the good ones during like the 2020.
15:30
If if if one has a if there's one like semi good one, they'll milk it for all
15:36
it's worth and then drop it. Hey, do you have a map again?
15:42
I know they got some uh original AMA on there that I intend to watch. Oh, I sell these.
15:50
Yeah, boy. I mean I mean right now I'm uh watching Death Note. I'm on episode five of
15:56
30ome. Thank you, Kyle, for the recommendation. I've enjoyed
16:02
You're welcome. I'm happy you're finally watching it. Yeah, totally. I'm definitely going to
16:08
watch another episode tonight. I need a map. Oh, although the
16:15
I feel like that one character is uh nightmare fuel, so I like don't like watching it right before bed.
16:21
Ry. Yeah. Oh, well, Ryuk's not Yes, he does look
16:27
scary, but he's not like actually Oh, no. He's he doesn't he doesn't act
16:33
like this scary monster, but it's like Yeah, he kind of does nothing. But yes, I I completely understand. And the first
16:39
time I saw him, I was like, "Oh, lovely. This is nightmares." Yeah. The the episode that I just
16:45
watched started with the So, you're telling me I could get I could give you
16:50
half of my remaining life just for the vision of a Shirro.
16:56
Shinigami eyes. Yeah.
17:02
And life's like, "That's a stupid deal. I want to become god of this utopia. No.
17:13
My one pet peeve about the series is how quickly he turned to I'm going to kill them all.
17:21
Seems a little unrealistic, but hey, it's like it's like, okay, if you did it slower, you wouldn't have the police on
17:27
you so as quickly. Yeah. And that's fair.
17:34
And I mean, come on. Would you really like I I would like to think that a sane
17:40
person would not devolve into into that sort of madness that quickly.
17:47
Well, let's find out. Jordan, here's a Death Note. Hell yeah.
17:53
Hands you Death Note. There you go. Whoa. I can be in the water here.
17:59
Puts in Puts name of former manager from former retail job. Okay.
18:05
Calm down. [Music]
18:10
Why am I Why do I have to be the voice of reason on that? What the [ __ ]
18:15
Hey. Hey, Kyle had the same manager for a while. He'd probably do the same thing, right? Just me.
18:22
All right. Here's here's the Death Note. PJ, but I don't know if I grabbed Grabs
18:28
Phone book. [Music]
18:34
Wait, that wouldn't do anything. Call them. Hey, hey, who is this?
18:40
They like, "Oh, hey." You You do need to see the face, though. So, yeah. I was going to say PJ clearly has not
18:47
actually watched a Death Note. Doesn't know the full rules. Correct. The only thing I know about
18:52
Death Note is Spider-Man has spider sense.
18:58
[Music] Are you about the Eat it.
19:05
I'm not at that part yet. I've seen that clip, but I'm not at that
19:10
part yet. PJ, do you watch any anime or not?
19:16
Really? Uh, I was watching Damn it. I was watching
19:22
some There is a direction I can go. I can smell it. I was watching um
19:29
uh Muscle uh Mashell Muscle and Magic. That one was pretty good.
19:34
And then I just kind of stopped at some point. It's like it's like a fantasy universe but like the main guy doesn't have
19:40
magic. He just he's just very strong and he works out.
19:47
Okay. What's it called again? Uh muscle. It's like uh mashel muscle
19:52
and magic. Oh, okay. When you described the premise, it sounded exactly like
19:58
Black Clover. No. And then and the first time someone described the premise of Black Clover to
20:04
me, it sounded just like My Hero Academia. That's one that is on my list and that's
20:10
just because Abby was going to do that campaign based off of it and it's like
20:16
that kind of fell through unfortunately. So, Oh, that was easy. Black Clover two.
20:21
Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I haven't I I wasn't sure if I
20:27
wanted to watch that one or not. The only thing that's got me hesitant is it's another long one and I already have a lot of long anime on my list to watch.
20:35
That's that's one thing why I'm hesitant to like dive fullheartedly in anime is
20:41
just how long like I don't want to watch 500 episodes
20:47
of I mean we're starting you off small with Death Note.
20:55
work up here. My whole animation. [Music]
21:00
What anime do you want me to work up to? We're going to work you up to One Piece, buddy.
21:07
Oh [ __ ] No, I thought you're supposed to watch One Piece.
21:13
Okay. No, I'm just kidding though. I haven't even watched One Piece. I'm kind of afraid to even No, like No, like there's a there's this
21:20
like a I forgot if it's like an actual thing or not, but you know how like there's Dragon Ball Z Kai where it cuts
21:25
out all the filler? There's something there's something similar for One Piece called One Piece.
21:33
I know that. Yeah, which is which is why I made the joke. Cuz there's a thing that's called
21:40
that. I'm going to die. There's a joke that I I was uh I made with Kyle.
21:47
It was while we were It was Holy crap. Dude, dodge. Dive and dodge. Dude,
21:54
I'm alive. Oh, I'm the best. Press B to roll.
21:59
That's not the right dodge button. This is in Dark Souls.
22:06
Oh [ __ ] Easy enemy. Um, but uh PJ I was making a joke with Kyle at work like last week or
22:13
so about it's like I saw a skit the other day about it's going to the
22:19
bathroom but paced like a episode of One Piece.
22:25
So, it's like you standing up at 10 different camera angles
22:30
in rapid succession and then you starting to walk five different camera angles and then
22:38
I unfortunately did not get it because I have not watched One Piece. That's like the only thing I know about
22:43
One Piece is the fact that they keep it keeps doing that. That's the weird and then it's like you got to you got
22:49
you got to pull your pants down to go to the bathroom and someone's watching. He's like, "Oh, he's he's pulling his pants down with the secret method." And
22:55
it shows a time when you learn how to do the secret method of pulling your pants down. I was like, "Oh, and he's going to
23:01
[ __ ] sitting down." And then it like shows us a previous scene where you learned how to [ __ ] sitting down.
23:07
[Laughter]
23:14
That's one piece. He's done that since he didn't wear
23:20
diapers anymore. Ashes back to when he was a baby.
23:29
But but is this time is he going to be able to wipe better than last time? It shows the last time when he wiped it was not that good.
23:38
Now for the finish the flush toilet technique show like he's doing the courtesy flush.
23:44
He flushed the toilet. No. This way when he flushes, he won't have any of the smell.
23:52
Now we need to make sure he washes his hands. He's using soap and hand sanitizer. The
23:58
method he learned from that one hobo on the street. This cuts to the hobo on the street. He's dead.
24:06
Use soap and hand sanitizer. Luffy.
24:12
Luffy. This conversation is the same. What the
24:17
[ __ ] What the heck? I paused because I was like, "Wait, what's his name again?" It's Luffy. I think it's Luffy.
24:23
Luffy. I don't know. In this in this moment, he's like, "Oh, it's Oh, it's Luffy. I didn't read the book." And then you win.
24:29
You win the argument. [Laughter] Or somebody's a One Piece fan that
24:35
watches this is going to be like, "You guys are completely destroying my favorite anime."
24:41
Ah, yes. I'm the reason it's bad. Yeah. Hey, look. City of Tears. It's It popped
24:46
up on the screen. It Hey, City. It's you. City of Gangs. I meant the big text, but it's okay.
24:54
Oh, it's it's the game's fault for letting me travel so fast.
25:01
[Music] Nice. Might as well open this now. I
25:07
have so much money. Oh, that was weird.
25:13
The video like froze for me for for a second. I thought the game just crashed. No, I think I I think my internet's
25:18
being sh That only happened in That only happened in episode two. Yeah. I mean, what? No, it didn't.
25:25
I guess I guess we'll see how well you edit it to see if it's that noticeable cuz I try I tried
25:31
my best to get it good. I'm I'm going to I'm going to try to get it where there's not it's barely
25:37
noticeable. I haven't edited yet. I'm going to spend like 20 minutes trying my damnest to to get it.
25:46
Yeah, it's just a matter of if you landed on that one platform that spot and now people are going to go back and watch
25:52
that vid and see if they can find it that cut.
25:58
Going to see if we can find that cut next time on Couch Goblins. Is it I don't think too early.
26:04
I mean I mean I mean we could it could be next time on Couch Goblins. It's about on couch sons.
26:10
Next next couch on couch. [Music]
26:16
Next time on couch. Next couch on couch.
26:22
This episode is an episode of just full of outros. That's all we talking.
26:30
Next time on Couch Goblin. So next time on Couch Gums. Oh yeah. Next time on Couch Gums. Yeah. Next time
26:35
on Couch Goblin. Couch Goblins. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Next time on Couch Goblins. Yeah, next time on Couch Goblins. Next time on
26:41
Couch. No, next time on Couch Goblins. Next time on Well, I'm in a boss fight, so it's not
26:46
Next time on Couch Goblins. Oh, man. Next time I couch goblins. No, it can't. You can't.
26:55
It's boss fight with That's like sending Doritos at me. He's dead. Jordan, stop. Jordan, stop the fake
27:00
outro. That was not a boss fight. I refuse to believe that was a boss fight.
27:08
So, it was
27:14
open sesame. Hey. Hey. What was that?
27:19
Return the slab. Oh gosh. I know.
27:26
You cannot. You got to warn a brother before you say return the slab. return
27:31
aloud to anyone who watched Courage as a young
27:36
lad or last I don't I watched a few episodes of Courage but don't remember any of them
27:44
good genuinely good show nightmare fuel show is awesome
27:50
oh that's what I've that's what I've heard I heard that it was a very good show but a very like nightmare inducing
27:57
show. Yeah. If you just watch the King Ramsy's
28:03
episode, it's it's it's pleasant.
28:10
Totally not. They totally didn't just make it the creepiest freaking thing for
28:15
a kids show for no reason. And we're just like, "Yep, this is okay."
28:21
It's I feel like kids should be able to indulge in horror, though.
28:27
Wow. I mean, it's the kind of thing where I think that it should be like a way to
28:33
wean you in. Like, it needs to not be as nightmareinducing as, you know.
28:40
Oh, another boss fight. Is this a boss? This is an actual boss.
28:46
Ah, kind of. What's his name? Oh, you you're doing those um Soul Warrior
28:53
Steve. His name is Jeff. No.
28:58
You know, it's funny. Steve sounds a little more realistic than the name I gave, but his name is genuinely soul
29:05
warrior. He's going to he's going to genuinely kill me unless I do this and then I heal and he doesn't hit me. Oh,
29:13
that was close.
29:20
Teleportation isn't fair. I mean, I kind of have able to
29:25
You should only be able to teleport if I can legitimately teleport. Same man. To be fair, the ability to teleport. I
29:32
would 100% use that in every fight ever. Who cares about fairness? I want to win.
29:39
Oh, yeah. I mean, I I guess I mean, it would also be cool to have teleport in day-to-day life. It's like,
29:45
I want to I want to pop in and say hi to my brother on a random Tuesday. Pop. I'm in
29:51
I'm okay. I'm in freaking California or whatever. I don't
29:57
I'm in I want to go to Disney. I want to go to Disney for uh for a day.
30:03
Boom. I'm in I'm in Orlando. I want to specifically sit in the second
30:11
row on the third seat on the gatekeeper at Cedar Point. Poof. That is
30:20
that take over. There is someone currently sitting there. I am now in their lap.
30:25
I at least in their lap is better than like you literally taking the same physical.
30:30
No, I want when I teleport in a stunt someone's there, I teleport inside of them. They die. That's what I want. Now
30:36
my power is used for evil. You just hear like the Garry's mod like
30:44
it's like the there's um Oh man, I I can't I can't wait to go to Cedar Point.
30:51
Yeah, that's it. That's it. You know, I keep that MF thing on me. I'll keep that MF thing on me until next
30:58
time goblins. I I'm going to I'm going to need that PJ.
31:03
Um there's a video. It's going to be my new notification noise. There's going to be a So, there's a
31:09
video I saw of I think it was Top Thrill at Secret Point where as the coaster was
31:16
getting like falling right back down after the launcher, it was at some point of the ride,
31:22
a bird flew into somebody
31:28
and one second there was a bird, you know, happy as can be. The next
31:34
second was the bird was in a thousand piece.