Up next in 10
The Goblins put on their treasure hunting clothes and embark on a quest for riches and fame. Unfortunately some higher being seems to have other plans.
This is episode 1, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM91_50BNoFon0QDpdiG2H4rP0AlVQgpm
The Goblins:
@argos101
@larsburrito
Feat. Mr. Ghost_Town.
#tombraider #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
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0:00
or as the British people call it the
0:02
flicky flicky loy on a stick the [ __ ]
0:06
I don't think I can keep that in the
0:07
recording what you can make fun we gotta
0:11
played and play it so I didn't watch it
0:13
in place I don't know well we're
0:15
recording by the way so
0:17
oh snikey hi
0:20
welcome to couch I'm sorry go play it's
0:22
Tomb Raider by the way here
0:24
get started I'm also
0:26
you're also a goblin okay I'm a goblin
0:29
now okay
0:33
I mean we are on the couch
0:36
I'm not on a couch I'm not actually
0:38
extremely painful uh chair that I get
0:41
judged relentlessly when I stream at my
0:43
own house
0:44
yeah it's uncomfortable as hell let's
0:46
get a more comfortable chair yes let me
0:48
let's ask Santa for that for Christmas
0:50
let my broke colleague love my broke ass
0:54
going to do that real quick
0:56
just ask Santa
1:01
here you know this video
1:04
you know this video will pass that's not
1:07
good
1:09
oh no
1:11
um that's not good at all
1:13
this video is going to come out of the
1:15
new year so you just stated the video
1:16
thanks a lot Spencer
1:22
and she's driving to game over thanks
1:24
for watching um enjoy
1:26
uh first game
1:28
thanks for coming to couch Goblin
1:32
oh what but she was totally dead
1:35
she stopped breathing did you I'll push
1:39
you
1:41
yeah obviously
1:46
ah
1:47
and she misses the hand and Falls to her
1:49
death
1:50
oh that was scary waiting for that
1:53
yeah wet water like what of course is
1:57
water wet We're not gonna do this
2:01
we're not doing this today I'm too tired
2:03
for that yes I am too
2:06
I had a t I had a professor that forced
2:08
me to
2:10
um come to campus just to write a single
2:13
page essay
2:15
oh it was a waste of time and I could
2:20
have stayed home and slept this game is
2:24
so loud I cannot hear you you can turn
2:27
it down
2:28
oh yeah you can turn it down personally
2:31
yeah you can turn it down come on get
2:34
good Spencer I'm so sorry
2:38
hey Spencer remember we tried to record
2:39
Doki Doki literature club like this
2:42
oh my gosh
2:45
it's been a while I still have the same
2:47
laptop this [ __ ]
2:50
did you see the image I sent you Spencer
2:52
yes and my stupid purchase which game
2:54
yeah
2:57
your switch
2:59
Doki Doki literature Club as if we have
3:02
not already played the whole [ __ ]
3:03
game like three times no we've we've
3:06
played through we didn't start the last
3:08
chapter yet no but we've played it so
3:12
many times we've played it twice
3:15
we played one on Steven we were in
3:18
Cosplay and then one recorded
3:22
why is my noise suppression off why is
3:23
Discord hate me
3:25
come on PJ get good
3:27
yeah yeah yeah
3:29
what he said
3:33
so you just joined us for this episode
3:36
just to kind of
3:37
be able to make fun of PJ I see how it
3:40
is
3:40
yeah I mean you invited me I saw a clear
3:43
yes that is William that is I just
3:46
realized I forgot to double check
3:47
something real quick so let me just go
3:49
ahead and uh
3:52
I promise I'm paying attention to the
3:54
world around me I promise I promise I
3:56
promise it's upside down yes she is the
3:59
blood is rushing to her head it's fine
4:00
it'll be fun it's good
4:03
that's supposed to happen
4:05
yeah
4:06
yes who's going to help you who's
4:08
wiggling wiggle wiggle wiggle
4:12
wiggle
4:14
[Music]
4:16
[Laughter]
4:18
God damn it
4:21
oh look it's on fire now hey look a
4:23
skeleton
4:24
why aren't you on fire
4:27
um because the fire was the friends who
4:29
made along the way yeah we're starting
4:30
the game because video game the game has
4:32
started
4:33
yes it has right or is this or is this
4:35
still a cutscene I'm in control
4:37
oh well
4:39
see I try to tell myself that every day
4:41
British
4:44
British
4:48
it's gonna be a long game
4:49
and game over she's been impaled
4:55
thanks for watching what a convenient
4:57
nail that's just sticking out of the
4:59
ground I thought it was an arrow it's a
5:02
piece of rebar
5:04
I died because I didn't oh never mind I
5:06
didn't
5:09
shut up PJ you've already played this
5:12
well I haven't no I don't know what's
5:14
going on no I haven't no I legitimately
5:16
I thought I had died I thought that I
5:18
hadn't pushed an X enough times
5:21
oh my gosh you know what I never claimed
5:24
to be smart okay well we knew this we
5:27
weren't expecting you to be smart
5:29
let there be light
5:32
let there be torch
5:35
I like how they call it towards or as
5:37
the British people call it the flicky
5:39
flicky though on a stick the [ __ ]
5:43
I don't think I can keep that in the
5:45
recording what you can make fun of it we
5:48
gotta bleep that we gotta bleep that
5:49
that's the intro moment
5:52
we've bleeped that no one actually could
5:55
hear that there was a big old but it's
5:57
actually just my voice put over top of
5:59
that that's just a sensor this yes or
6:02
something I made you I gave you a sensor
6:04
thanks I can make fun of British people
6:06
appreciate it no much appreciated
6:09
friendo
6:12
oh yeah you light that on fire
6:16
arson so so so what's the plot of the
6:20
game like she was on a big boat she was
6:23
honest
6:25
what a big bow and then she was in water
6:28
and then she fell into the water and
6:30
then so they oh it was a group of Advent
6:33
of explorers they were researching on
6:37
some sort of vessel
6:39
um and a storm
6:42
took uh
6:46
I got scared
6:47
um a storm
6:50
was uh [ __ ] up their ship
6:55
and you are pretty much caught up now at
7:00
this point
7:03
um editing me might put anything else
7:05
that I missed if there was anything that
7:07
I missed
7:08
I totally know now
7:10
if you're really a Tomb Raider fan
7:12
what's all over the Lord
7:14
ah to be honest I haven't really seen
7:18
any of the movies because I felt like
7:20
I'd always get judged if I was talking
7:21
about the movies
7:24
this is the first of the modern trilogy
7:28
no I don't know this
7:34
and conveniently the torch had to be
7:36
extinguished because it would break this
7:38
puzzle
7:42
and this is the puzzle that you uh spent
7:45
an entire episode on no no that's a
7:47
different puzzle that's a different but
7:48
don't worry I'll tell you because it's
7:50
gonna get stuck on it again uh I promise
7:52
you it will not be as long as it was
7:54
last time it's gonna be two episodes uh
7:57
for those of you who are
7:59
unaware
8:00
uh you said you talked about in the
8:02
beginning of the episode
8:05
you talked right in the beginning yeah
8:07
that's fine yeah yeah it's fine yeah is
8:10
it though
8:12
um no but we'll keep on telling you that
8:14
it is uh oh wait a minute
8:17
uh
8:18
I lived on fire first or no
8:21
PJ I need an adult you gotta okay so you
8:24
gotta jump on top of that little thing
8:26
in front of you because it's gonna lift
8:27
up barrels and boxes
8:29
oh and then you're gonna go back around
8:31
you're gonna light those on fire then
8:32
you're gonna push the thing off
8:36
because then the things are gonna be on
8:37
fire and then they're not going to get
8:39
wet so now
8:41
yeah
8:48
I didn't go back around here okay yeah
8:51
you're gonna light that on fire and
8:52
you're gonna push it
8:56
just sit there somehow not gonna get
8:59
extinguished when you put it into the
9:00
fire oh yeah because that makes sense it
9:03
goes too fast for it to be extinguished
9:04
right that's how it works what's it not
9:07
touching water right now
9:10
what the [ __ ]
9:12
yes thanks for the obvious statement
9:16
go Queen yes yeah go through that water
9:23
well not that way
9:27
it's it's giving it's giving Temple Run
9:29
actually kind of a little bit
9:34
I can agree with that how can she just
9:38
walk after that that looked like it was
9:39
super ouchy um
9:43
major are we in the Booboo Department we
9:46
are not gonna question the logic in
9:48
making video games it makes sense for
9:49
the story and it looks cool so we'll go
9:51
with that
9:52
it was neither of those things but go
9:54
off
9:56
go up
9:59
[Music]
10:01
I'll get him hey I didn't die this time
10:03
PJ
10:05
nope he did though I looked back up and
10:08
just saw death
10:10
you just saw blood I just saw a head
10:13
squish blood and gore
10:14
nothing wrong with that right
10:17
um
10:19
if your discretion is about oh you
10:20
should have grabbed the torch
10:22
how will you see crime climb thank you
10:26
he was pressing the bumpers he hesitated
10:29
he was pressing the bumpers
10:32
you have no proof that I was or not
10:36
actually this time why is she crawling
10:39
like that because she's climbing up a
10:41
wall and is trying to not die
10:47
it's just a creative camera it's like a
10:49
[ __ ] inch worm just like a little bit
10:52
yeah a little bit
10:58
game over all right thanks everybody
10:59
waking up at 8am
11:02
me coming home from work after [ __ ]
11:05
customers complained about the stupidest
11:06
[ __ ]
11:09
uh that's picking up at 8am after being
11:11
up till four
11:13
that was me a couple nights ago
11:16
yeah same
11:24
it's your [ __ ] Mike peaches shut up I
11:28
don't know what the issue is what about
11:29
his mic I'm hearing the fan in the
11:33
background every once in a while
11:39
[Laughter]
11:42
too much
11:44
you said tomb Raiders
11:48
go back go back go back
11:52
no I said how convenient that the words
11:56
Tomb Raider are in the sky I have a I
12:00
have a speech impediment me too
12:03
it's just called me being stupid
12:06
no
12:09
no I like how that's PJ's go-to joke
12:12
it's like maybe blank is are the friends
12:14
we made along the way the go-to joke was
12:16
uh what was it it was something about
12:19
not asking
12:21
I don't recall asking yeah
12:24
the go-to joke
12:27
and I'm here
12:31
you won't always be but it's nice to
12:33
have your Insight for you know the
12:35
couple of episodes we're going to record
12:36
today
12:38
I don't have any insight my inside is
12:40
negative too
12:42
um
12:49
did somebody just leave
12:52
[Music]
12:55
okay I heard the disconnect sound the
12:59
mute sound I heard everything all at
13:01
once
13:02
I felt it all at once
13:05
so it's fine everything everywhere all
13:08
at once it's fine
13:11
a very confusing and stupid movie where
13:14
the only thing that I remember from that
13:16
movie is a scene where they were
13:19
fighting with dildos
13:21
what
13:25
um
13:25
to be honest I don't know that movie was
13:29
it's like they all took drugs and then
13:31
wrote a movie
13:37
I was
13:40
I don't know
13:42
um so so the other day
13:45
um
13:46
I got this candy and it was Mr Beast
13:49
chocolate oh that the messiest nastiest
13:53
food I think I've ever had in my entire
13:54
life really it was the I don't know how
13:58
you can mess up chocolate but he messed
14:00
it up like it was I think there are some
14:03
people that will fight you to the ends
14:05
of the Earth about that
14:06
Mr Beast chocolate it was gross
14:11
well then
14:13
that's how you really feel
14:16
I I just
14:17
I just did
14:19
that was the whole point of me that's
14:21
how you really feel I'm gonna I just
14:25
okay oh Apex controller sorry
14:30
is it because it upgraded me to
14:32
Christmas
14:35
all right I was looking at my user
14:37
settings on Discord because you made me
14:39
feel self-conscious about it good job
14:41
Spencer because noise suppression came
14:44
out with a new mode and it auto switched
14:46
me to it when I didn't want it to
14:47
because it's bad that's why you're
14:49
getting random noises from me
14:52
good job oh winter Todd oh there oh
14:56
we're definitely
15:00
unbelievably
15:02
so dead don't question it
15:06
I have so many questions right a good
15:09
Prof to Never Dies well well her dad did
15:13
so
15:15
dude not cool
15:16
just happened like too soon right before
15:20
her Adventure I think it was a couple of
15:22
I think it might have been a year or two
15:23
before I forget
15:31
so let's jump down this well
15:34
don't
15:35
get some water all right she thirsty
15:38
she a thirsty [ __ ] oh and she cold
15:44
why isn't she like completely drenched
15:46
with water like she's barely even wet oh
15:48
convenient walkie-talkie she got it from
15:51
the uh
15:55
actually if you were paying attention
15:57
[Music]
16:02
um actually he uh she she dug it out of
16:06
um
16:07
remember the bag that was zoomed in on
16:11
no
16:12
no I don't remember
16:15
why does she you're making edit editing
16:17
Jordan go through a lot of work just to
16:19
make you guys look stupid
16:21
I mean that's not you
16:24
let's just make this wet stuff dry and
16:27
put it on fire oh of course it works how
16:29
convenient there's part under and
16:31
overhang it's not completely stupid
16:33
it is everything around it is still
16:36
going to be wet
16:38
you know what we don't need your
16:40
pessimism you do you bust what you
16:43
brought me here Glass House dragged me
16:46
outside and brought me to this damn
16:48
couch so many stains on it that's for
16:52
Goblin
16:53
we got it
16:56
it's not meant to be a clean couch this
16:58
isn't like elf couch all right we got
17:00
couch elves we got it for cheap from a
17:02
suspicious looking user on Craigslist
17:05
sound it's so personally offended I'm
17:08
probably talking about your nasty
17:11
girl it's for goblins it's a goblin
17:14
couch
17:15
couch dragonborns all right this is a
17:18
regular normal couch for goblins all
17:20
right we got it okay Dragon boards
17:22
couches are always messed up because of
17:24
their scales we got it we got it for
17:26
cheap from a suspicious looking they
17:27
said they were a film studio on
17:29
Craigslist
17:30
[Music]
17:33
the porn couch ain't it
17:38
there's so many white stains it's all
17:42
making sense I thought it was queso
17:50
they had a weird scene going on and it
17:54
was
17:55
roll the dice
17:56
is it okay so where is it not okay so
17:59
you know what I got you hold up
18:03
um odds are evens purple odds
18:09
definitely purple
18:11
okay uh okay
18:13
evens I'm not serious it is queso odds
18:16
it's not queso
18:25
oh thank God
18:35
oh springtrap the sexiest character
18:40
he murdered five children
18:42
no that was
18:45
no
18:46
we got to get a lord jump into Five
18:48
Nights at Freddy's now
18:50
please
18:52
have mercy on my soul they have so many
18:56
good things
19:01
oh my God
19:06
I have no clue what's going on now
19:08
um they're arguing about where they need
19:10
to go she's going through footage on the
19:12
video camera she found a little bit ago
19:16
triangle look like Disney World we can't
19:19
say that copyright the mouse will sue us
19:21
at Disney World at Disney World
19:26
somewhere in the Triangle itself look
19:29
this is the satellite imagery from
19:31
inside the Dragon's Triangle
19:33
that doesn't look good
19:35
look good if I sweat I can Sail on it oh
19:37
don't tell me your seat if it's wet I
19:40
can Sail on it oh my God
19:43
I mean I didn't even register it I'm not
19:46
gonna lie
19:49
to be honest I only saw it because I
19:53
read the
19:54
I read the caption I did not hear it
19:57
oh my God
20:05
Wait nothing why are you laughing
20:09
nothing don't worry about it we are in
20:12
an audio medium you have to talk about
20:13
what you thought was so funny all right
20:16
so it's hard to explain without going
20:19
into all of it
20:20
hey PJ hey PJ that's probably something
20:23
for next time
20:25
is it something for next time I think
20:27
it's something for now there's something
20:28
for next time is it something for next
20:30
time it is like somebody I guess next
20:33
time on couch goblins I guess just for
20:36
you
20:38
I'm not bringing it up next time by the
20:40
way just just so we're clear I'm gonna
20:41
bring up something completely different
20:43
you know what you know what [ __ ] you
20:46
don't
20:49
[ __ ] me please I need to know this I
20:52
need to know this information
#Humor
#Computer & Video Games
#Adventure Games