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Jordan, he’s not dead! | Alien: Isolation (9)
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Nov 23, 2024
This is episode 9, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM91_50BNoFqt2wWWmNbqeFa4rfHVTZb_&si=fLf9MdlFYKljhofU The Goblins: @argos101 @larsburrito @TheGoreyDetails / https://linktr.ee/thegoreydetails #alienisolation #funny #playthrough #meme #memes
View Video Transcript
0:00
he might already be killing them no the guy would be like ah and
0:06
he's not doing that at the moment what are we doing today yeah I
0:12
got to get the code oh yeah you were this is where you were last episode over and over and over again all right all
0:18
right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right oh
0:24
boom [ __ ] oh wait that's within the first 15 seconds sorry Jordan oh crap
0:30
so I to censor that out I mean a grab it snatch it okay I can't snatch
0:39
it yep you're dead well that's a way to start this episode all right next time on
0:47
couchin now the question is do I do the fake
0:53
outro no
1:02
I'm trying to do the speedrun Str I just realized I don't even need to go that
1:08
way go what way the Flames I don't know why I'm activating the
1:20
Flames I'm on my way don't tra down good
1:25
I don't even need to go that way to the flames
1:34
look look at you being a
1:48
noer excuse me
1:54
hi maybe you should not have done that it's my little mouth
2:00
that's just going to be the constant joke every single time here's my little mouth Chom
2:06
Chom oh my God all right now this is the
2:11
this is the real attempt right here those were just jokes those that was banter as we say in the industry this is this was for
2:27
reies and grab the key card Sams I'm on my
2:44
way it's got hell in here Sam Samuels this place is pretty nice actually
3:01
I know bonding agents can't be
3:10
bonding oh the theater yes that person on the operating table
3:18
I've got the meds oh sweet I got the meds we heard guns and if we heard them
3:26
so did the creature now be careful going to the store cuz I think he's usually in the
3:31
vent that's okay you're good oh never mind there's not a vent
3:37
there I am unless you went back out the the other way I I got go back through
3:42
the all I got oh yeah I got to find the repair kit I forgot I forgot I
3:49
forget it's been a while look at you
3:54
forgetting me me one me one me one me one
4:02
wrong way good job proud of
4:08
you I hear him Pitter pattering around I do too going keep going though he's got so
4:15
much stuff to
4:23
do I'm feel a noise maker to throw at him
4:30
actually yeah if you make a noise maker and have the alien go after them instead of all right game why are we doing that
4:37
un he might already be killing them no the guy would be like ah ah and
4:44
he's not doing that at the moment I like how your Noise
4:51
Gate I love how your Noise Gate cut off your
4:56
scream Chad he's like ah audio cuts out I don't think I have
5:04
a I don't think I have a Noise Gate set up again the alien did it anything to prove you wrong and then the guy's just
5:10
dead on the [ __ ] floor I told you the alien did it would do it hey look at map
5:15
please take a map oh God [ __ ] that
5:39
here he is the best save in the universe
5:46
only the hospital evacuation
5:52
procedure is it this
6:00
oh you're doing I forgot about this I know where you are now yeah I'm
6:06
in space [ __ ] you that's not very
6:16
nice sorry I apologize that was rude of me there's a second gener you have to I
6:23
think you have to uh you have to do you know what to do I know what to
6:31
do I know the thing went because of the
6:36
thing I can't mash the button too hard or else it comes over on
6:56
OBS oh hi there I almost walked into that yeah and you should really kind of
7:11
Crouch the music is so are okay I think half of this it's only scary because of
7:18
the the music and the sound effects I'm so glad I did this cuz now
7:24
this guy's awake well you had to do it anyway so
7:38
dude get out of the vent stop
7:51
venting now I'm
7:58
stuck I can't get past this guy what's the map
8:05
say initiate these
8:12
nuts what about a working Steve
8:19
diversify or how about this female
8:25
Android no you can't do that no okay
8:30
you got to understand uh bad things will happen if you do that dude he's spawn camping me look at
8:37
this guy Chad he's
8:49
NOS dude is straight aware what am I looking for I need a I
8:56
need a b blasting cap got to pop a cap in his water
9:04
bottle lovely
9:32
ha please tell me you're dead you might need to do a multiple
9:37
hits he's spilling his milk that's not
9:49
milk I think you made him angry whoops whoops something tells me
9:56
you made him mad whoops whoops whoops all right what do you got on you
10:03
nothing whoops whoops all right I don't know what am I'm supposed
10:08
to do am I supposed to use this yes yeah I think yeah oh boy oh boy so we got air
10:17
random triangle and almost a bomb nice almost a what almost a
10:25
bomb he looks like he's SE see see that that guy knows what I'm talking about
10:37
about am I clear I'm so clear that I'm going to
10:43
save even though there's hostiles nearby did it really say there's a hosle nearby yes sorry I'm desing a
10:52
shirt this is the most random thing D I'm sorry I'm making a I'm sorry I'm making a website real
10:58
quick sorry give me one second no the website's already made he doesn't like the website take it
11:05
off take it down he doesn't like the website take it down take it down I'm sorry there's a cancellation
11:12
fee for the for not looking the website no
11:22
[Laughter] [Music]
11:36
fella fella we got places to be what are you doing out here just
11:41
waiting so where I'm going it's such a disconnect just all right was the map real
11:50
quick oh no it's it's the kind of thing oh no I got to hang on
11:56
Qui I got to get out of here I mean they're shooting a gun with the alien around so they're probably going to
12:03
die or are already dead oh man I should have taken the fast hands [Laughter]
12:12
perk I thought I just got murdered uh-oh wait wait we can be
12:19
friends we can be we can be buddy
12:25
Pals thanks for watching couch goblins me when I have a slight disagreement on
12:31
the internet
12:37
jeez dang it why did I say that I like cold days more than hot days damn
12:45
it oh hang on I got to loot this real quick this game is so loud all of a
12:55
sudden yo I love that effect on the screen it's cool
13:01
hang on I this Qui man I gotta get out of here
13:07
quickly yo blasting cap Julia Jones did you just get a
13:13
Discord notification no did you get a Discord notification I I have OBS on did but I don't I don't
13:20
have a notification I don't this is bothering me
13:29
you might have a notification to a server you probably aren't checking probably I looked I don't have
13:36
any pings so it's probably not really anything I had the same issue yesterday CU there was a bunch of people joining
13:41
the uh Final Fantasy server oh yeah yeah
13:47
yeah what do you think just just a black shirt for that that shirt time we talking about oh 100% black or gray I
13:55
have a black and gray o
14:00
this is a nice cut scene that I have to press W
14:05
for and occasionally
14:13
E Laura Croft
14:18
moment man I got to get out of here so what's up make I'm going to make a
14:24
Molotov real quick I know perfect time I think it's going to be good to
14:30
have maybe I have two medkits when did I have those pipe bomb
14:36
revolver mysterious ticking noise it's a I don't know why I I need
14:43
to stop saying that it's like I only it's like the same it's like I'm an NPC it's the
14:48
same few jokes every single time chat 's a knower to be fair that's just the
14:53
human mind like I feel like I'm stuck on the same like four joke trends for like a like a couple weeks and then I just switched them out like I always think
15:00
like Yep this is this is how my humor for the rest of my life it's like you swapping out out perks yeah at like a
15:06
safe at a safe point exactly just sit on the bench and Hollow night and I just switch out my
15:14
perks yeah two missions in one session let's go I don't why they're called missions
15:21
not like episodes or chapters or anything that would make sense oh look
15:27
down I don't
15:36
care this ship is on fire yo
15:49
oh oh that way has to be it's the light
16:19
man no oh I I couldn't pick it up anyway thanks for noticing Ripley
16:30
it's the button to do that why is it it's probably just enter but I'm
16:40
not I'm getting a lot of charge packs out of
16:46
nowhere why I got a lot of charge packs out of
16:52
nowhere charge packs charge packs I needed it to make molotovs
16:57
[Music] oh charge packs a pack that charges I don't know I
17:04
don't know why I need I don't know why I need a charge pack to throw a bottle of alcohol with a towel at the top but I
17:10
heard charge back like someone tipped you on like YouTube or twitch no and
17:16
somebody was a dick that's what I heard that's just why you just don't use PayPal um I have that protection turned
17:24
on okay but I do urge people to go through twitch and stuff like that with
17:35
bits yeah I don't I don't stream enough to unlock the uh the affiliate program on Twitch so M it's a weird thing to
17:43
have to you have to stream at Le seven times a mon and then you unlock it it's like all right buddy actually that's not the one I had
17:50
that's not the one I had trouble with the one I had trouble with was the average three viewers per stream and I I
17:56
remember the day that I got the then email saying hey you're in the affiliate program congratulations I was sitting in
18:05
church God has answered my prayers I was sitting in church and I have my SmartWatch and I had my email
18:12
notifications on on my watch at that point and I'm like and I I get a
18:18
notification I'm about to just like snooze it and I look and
18:23
it's uh sender twitch subject line it was cut off but
18:28
it said congratul I'm like uh
18:37
what I need blasting caps not charge packs yeah to be fair I I didn't have
18:44
that issue because I had the the YouTube peeps that just went over because you can because the twitch allows the Dual
18:49
streaming now sensor corrupted yeah yeah and I I ought I I do need to start doing
18:56
that more so so basically I got to cheat for free we we we need to do it for um
19:05
we do it for Tavern Heroes usually just pop there's a there's a plugin that
19:10
allows us to for free just plug in multiple stream Keys it takes a toll on
19:16
Nate's internet to be fair I use uh not sponsor
19:22
I use restream that that's because no but you
19:28
can do at least two for free that's the that's the way it works if if you want to do more than two it
19:33
costs money but you more than more than two or stream to two channels on the same service so you can't stream to two
19:38
twitch channels and like two one each yeah that's what I was yeah yeah yeah
19:44
yeah all right I get you I get you because for me it's just the one I just have the one channel so it's just I can just stream to Twitch and YouTube at the
19:50
same time because I don't care about kick I don't care about insta or whatever the other I whatever the other ones are I think Tik tock
20:00
I tried to do Tik Tok I'm just not I just don't like making shorts It's just so I don't know what it is like I like I
20:07
like I I literally just took content I already made and just turned into a short but for me it's just it feels so
20:12
weird maybe if I make like specifically shorts content like you know what I mean like a thing that is nothing but a short
20:19
by 2071 it's not I mean I'll do like twitch highlights yeah but it's it it is
20:26
difficult to to take like like you need to find stuff that is that is funny to
20:37
you well funny to more than just you I should say and I getting so many objectives like there are
20:45
probably um there are probably a lot of places in
20:52
this series that I can cut into being a that's a friendly Android you do realize
20:57
that right nope I need to find my stuff and things I got level two for this thing
21:05
that's nice I'm just walking around and finding stuff I'm not going to lie level up level
21:11
up I mean at least you're not dying a whole bunch like the couple of EP I'm I'm not gonna lie I'm just zoned out in
21:16
the conversation and just I'm pushing buttons I'm I'm just enjoying the
21:22
podcast you know what I mean I'm still debating if I want to do that or not
21:28
like upload to because our commentary could definitely be to be fair sometimes it's
21:36
focused on the game I mean I you said Spotify does it [Music] for I saw the drip I got so
21:44
scared my heart was in my Spotify can do videos and the audio could be
21:50
distributed to other platforms if I wanted just the audio
21:56
of Imagine just listening to to this series I think I'm low on health I
22:05
am just listening to the audio of this series will be trippy okay wait stop and uh go back to
22:13
that rack that's straight in front of you stand up like the uh go over go over
22:21
one hi here I am isn't that terrifying huh
22:29
that's that's I don't like that I think what's terrifying is there's an alien right in front of
22:35
me there's another one over there that has the same
22:47
thing is that the alien step stepping around a little bit sorry I'm I'm working on doing other things right
22:54
now you're not focus on by a totally epic gameplay I'm I'm I'm I'm zoned out
23:00
also oh Hi friend I'm fine I'm fine I think I can just start walking away I
23:05
was incorrect oh [ __ ]
23:11
Molotov oh that was a lying achievement I got an achievement says caused the alien to retreat using a Molotov that
23:17
[ __ ] did not Retreat he went straight for me I mean he probably was retreating the other way like he was caught on the wrong side of the no I threw it at my I
23:25
threw it at my toeses so unless he was at my toeses he probably
23:33
was I got I didn't really do anything after the safe so it's
23:49
fine honly it's really okay to run around with the molotov gives me a free light
23:55
source I think it's the only way I didn't go yet so up and
24:09
up we need this this Jesus and that all
24:14
right
24:28
me when my [ __ ] making
24:38
noises I wish I had a stronger pinky ah I just
24:44
died I breathed in a fart I'm dead good thing I saved right after oh
24:52
yeah I didn't use my medkits I got to use those real quick got to make some more cuz I have so many resources
24:58
I'm going to make one more because I don't have any other resources that I need besides that one all
25:07
right use the medkit
25:12
Ripley
25:18
goodness all right perfect revolver
25:31
um Among Us Among Us did you play the lethal company upd
25:37
yet uh that's going to date the video but if you you up not yet I enjoyed it I
25:45
played it a little bit with the with the homies I I have yet to
25:52
um I've have yet to to do that I've been like I only right now I've been
25:58
streaming um lethal company with um the Gory
26:05
details yes yes yes yes um really awesome guy um and watches this so he
26:12
probably would probably be hearing this um but really really cool guy I really
26:18
enjoy playing um now be a friend
26:30
Hey Joe he a friend he is a friend he looks so cute I need a compression
26:36
cyinder components Warehouse Row one stack B
26:41
follow me just keep the noise down
26:47
okay I was wait for him to just Bonk Bonk Bonk with his
26:52
toes got them loud robot feet
27:06
no spider
27:24
symbol here we are your compression cylinder will be to the far end of this
27:34
Ro don't touch the electrics buddy buddy don't touch the bud
27:41
don't what a way to go see this is why I stopped giving advice to people they just don't listen
27:47
to me anymore I don't [Laughter]
27:54
know oh wow I did all that for five scrap huh mhm well you have other stuff
28:00
that you need to do I think so yeah but this little vent has nothing with five scrap
28:18
mhm damn it
28:37
are you having fun I'm
28:47
trying there we go all right can't you tell by my deathly
28:52
silence I'm having so much fun oh yeah absolutely the far end of this row so
28:58
going to be over here there we
29:03
go Place component in the elevator I want to see if going through here is going to be faster than get killed by
29:09
the alien oh blasting cab let's [ __ ] go I
29:15
can make another [Music]
29:25
bellat all right well that was worthless I love making my way through an existing
29:31
thing just to get two items it's my
29:38
[Music]
29:53
favorite I'm sure that's fine I'm sure it's so fine I got a Molotov
30:00
just in case ah
30:06
okay it's like I'm playing Amnesia all over
30:12
again my stupid little lantern that does nothing
30:19
yes exactly
30:31
n n n n n oh n n
30:37
n oh okay I'm
30:43
good are you though I think I going just wait here for a second now I'm good oh I wasn't even on
30:49
the ladder you could have just killed me yeah he could have see like this is an infinite light
30:56
source right here it's awesome it sucks but it's
31:01
infinite
31:07
forever I forgot the way out my my brain rot doesn't know where
31:12
to
31:18
go it's this way which is not this way I was so confident it was that way
31:25
too I think it's this way uh oh oh he's above
31:31
me I think he's distracted
31:46
though hey um side note side not
31:53
[Music]
31:58
just so you know trying to get to a save
32:03
point yeah think that did exactly what I wanted it
32:12
to arm sir my sir my noise maker there we
32:26
go come in Francis
32:32
Francis don't check the camera
32:38
feed I got to go this way yeah this looks right I remember going downstairs
32:43
Mr camera yeah this looks right this is not right I got oh I gotta go that way [ __ ]
33:05
oh what I killed him Jordan I killed him
33:11
Jordan he's dead good job Jordan he's not
33:18
dead that was so confusing what happened I guess we'll find out next
33:25
time on couch goblins but what happened he was in front of me right and so as a
33:31
last Stitch effort he was like right in front of me I threw a moltov at my feet and then it like looked like he grabbed
33:37
me and then he just disappeared I'm so confused genuinely so
33:47
confused Jordan he's dead Jord Jordan he's dead J he's not dead for me because
33:55
it's the schizophrenia update I have no idea what happened he was there and then I took my Molotov pills and now he's
34:01
gone you're you're noise [Music]
34:06
skate oh my God I hate it here
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