Up next in 10
In this episode, join the goblins as they solve puzzles in the Aperture Science testing facility. What could go wrong?
This is episode 1, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM91_50BNoFqSBeqsXRjC7v8qgvqoof-5
The Goblins:
@larsburrito
@argos101
#portal2 #portal2coop #funny #playthrough #meme #memes #letsplay #podcast
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0:00
I'm hiding from you because you're ugly
0:03
come on just because I'm tall
0:05
yes tall people are ugly
0:08
what do I feel like I'm gonna get the
0:09
short guy no I'm the tall one I'm the
0:11
short guy why do you have a hat hi why
0:14
do you have a hat good day here we can
0:17
pause now to lower the audio please wave
0:19
to your partner
0:21
uh
0:26
sound quality
0:29
what's that right there perfect
0:36
the upcoming test request hello
0:39
the facilitate collaboration both of you
0:43
have been equipped with a ping tool blue
0:45
please use your ping tool to select your
0:48
favorite animal
0:49
what if my favorite animal isn't on here
0:51
what's your second favorite animal
0:55
wow
0:57
[Music]
1:01
to select your favorite element from the
1:04
periodic table
1:05
ah dude everybody loves freaking
1:09
uh
1:11
titanium
1:16
Gladys even judges you
1:18
interesting choice it's titanium it's
1:20
epic it's it's very interesting very
1:23
interesting choice
1:25
tool can also be used to indicate to
1:28
your hey look I see I see an idiot
1:30
hey look I see an idiot
1:32
that's a wall stupid you're supposed
1:35
dumbass no mine's right there look at it
1:40
in each location
1:45
wee hello is first to acquire haha [ __ ]
1:50
you I was having fun
1:54
finally touched device
2:04
all right now I'm here calibrating
2:06
Blue's weight nice
2:11
all right
2:13
it's easy it's easy for peony right here
2:16
oh [ __ ] you it's easier with beanie it's
2:19
fine it's
2:21
yeah do you have a hole up here I got a
2:24
hole up here I have a hole up there also
2:26
I wonder if we can get up there
2:31
oh boom there you go
2:34
oh thanks why do you have a hat on
2:37
do I have a hat on you have a hat and
2:39
like a little flag
2:41
oh I do
2:43
oh I have no idea how I did that
2:49
all right
2:52
oh wait are we supposed to do an intro
2:55
uh
2:56
hey everybody Welcome to couch goblins
2:58
all right
3:00
welcome to couch goblins
3:02
what's this dude it's a cube what do you
3:05
think it does it goes into Cube squares
3:09
of variances
3:18
how do I get the thing
3:22
you just grab you press E when it falls
3:24
no way I don't believe you
3:28
got it
3:29
hang on catch
3:32
oh yeah I have to pass it around to you
3:35
yeah you're right you right
3:38
oh thank you thanks appreciate that
3:41
appreciate you nope nope [ __ ] you didn't
3:43
you didn't earn the cube it's mine now
3:46
I don't know how that happened
3:50
there you go I want this I like circles
3:53
you know this you have to have it oh
3:55
well you're in luck there's circles
3:57
coming up soon
4:00
um how how do oh I think you gotta make
4:04
me you gotta make so I think you gotta
4:05
put one uh there and I think there's one
4:07
through there wait wait yep yep yep yep
4:09
you got it you got it you got it okay
4:11
all right merry Christmas
4:16
all right
4:18
um
4:24
nice
4:25
hey wait a minute wait a minute wait a
4:27
minute wait a minute
4:42
that was easy mode oh don't worry that
4:45
was only the tutorial oh no dude that
4:47
was that was the end of the game right
4:49
there
4:51
oh okay thanks to everyone for watching
4:53
uh we'll see you guys in the next
4:54
episode roll credits
4:59
oh man
5:03
oh boy that was easy I bet the whole
5:06
game's gonna be like this but it
5:09
probably will not be like this it
5:11
definitely will not be like this there
5:13
will be a lot more options for us to
5:14
kill each other
5:15
hey that's not nice I did not mean to do
5:18
that
5:19
you're wrecked fine maybe I shouldn't
5:22
send you outside of the official testing
5:24
courses you are picking up some bad
5:26
human traits and trust me humans only
5:30
why you walk so funny
5:32
look at look at that look at look at how
5:35
many
5:37
yeah team building
5:39
okay ten seven
5:42
what 248 portals placed I think this
5:46
I think it might I think it's probably
5:49
counting yours
5:50
probably wait hang on I got this
5:54
oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
5:55
wait
5:57
it is
6:00
378 dang okay I didn't take many steps
6:03
so I have to make sure that we go all
6:05
the way back to the beginning because
6:07
since I've completed this we uh have to
6:10
start at the beginning because yeah I
6:11
mean I don't see the way to go
6:14
maybe I should have hosted that probably
6:16
would have I don't know if that would
6:16
have helped or not no it would probably
6:18
would have been the same thing because
6:19
all right well yeah
6:21
but don't worry I haven't completed I
6:22
have not completed the full campaign yet
6:25
good good good good good good good yeah
6:27
yeah so I don't know what full and I
6:28
forget all the solutions anyway so yeah
6:31
you see yeah I know you you have you
6:34
have brain matter in your head so that
6:36
means you know everything all the time I
6:38
am incompetent
6:45
why do you have us I hate your stupid
6:48
little hat
6:49
so it's like it's like a beanie that
6:51
doesn't fit so it looks like a bowler
6:52
hat I know
6:55
um get your ass in there okay
7:00
yeah oh I can view you yeah
7:04
although don't do that because that is
7:06
going to be different oh wait a minute
7:07
uh
7:10
wait a minute no no
7:14
oh wait you get to sh I think you have
7:16
to shoot portals
7:17
um really what makes you say that
7:19
there's you know what I meant there's a
7:21
there's a wall here
7:22
so if you put a portal uh wait a minute
7:26
come oh my goodness come shoot your red
7:29
portal in on that wall right there cool
7:33
collaboration now we can go through and
7:37
your door's closed
7:40
doors closed
7:44
hey funny joke okay
7:47
Hi how are you
7:50
doll [ __ ] you it's all the way up here
7:53
you're not used to this
7:55
this never happens to you right
7:57
no yeah nobody ever has ripped my head
8:00
off before and held it out of my reach
8:03
no it's never happened dude that's like
8:04
an everyday occurrence for me what are
8:06
you talking about
8:09
you ever just start missing your head
8:10
and it's just gone forever
8:14
hate it when that happens oh [ __ ] yeah
8:17
okay
8:18
some human Sports the winner is the one
8:21
who scores the fewest possible points I
8:25
just I wanted to go swimming
8:30
all right so button does thing
8:34
collaboration points
8:36
hang on let me do the thing with the
8:37
thing hey what the [ __ ] stop it oh you
8:40
go through
8:41
I don't need no need to thank me
8:45
all right okay bye
8:48
what's the next part
8:50
bye damn it I have to I have to help you
8:52
what's the next part the [ __ ] is that
8:55
the entire puzzle is it just um I think
8:57
you might have to go back around and
8:58
press the button I think I have to shoot
9:00
a portal for you to get through all
9:02
right
9:04
uh
9:06
uh [ __ ] what are you doing I have to
9:09
replace your portal so move your portal
9:12
over
9:13
I think
9:15
I think maybe
9:17
hey I'm over here thanks
9:20
I don't
9:24
uh
9:26
is there like somewhere you can place it
9:28
in there yeah okay
9:31
I am smart
9:33
I can tell
9:41
high five
9:43
pain and Agony and test subjects yes I
9:46
did know that
9:49
what's up here
9:51
I found buttons
9:54
doesn't do anything though okay we have
9:57
to
9:59
time this and press all four buttons
10:02
within seconds of each other
10:05
so you have to put a portal similar in
10:07
placement to what I have and then go
10:10
through and
10:12
it was really easy hey look you're
10:15
talking about you you're liking Circle
10:16
circular stuff more spherical
10:20
spherical
10:23
this is very easy
10:26
so far
10:31
what are you doing what are you doing
10:32
back here in the background I'm hiding
10:35
from you because you're ugly
10:37
come on just because I'm tall
10:39
yes tall people are ugly
10:42
then you must be the most handsome
10:44
person in the entire universe then
10:49
babies aren't cute babies are disgusting
10:52
they're annoying maybe but be but
10:53
they're cute impossible
10:57
oh god
10:59
um bye is there an issue yes come on I
11:02
turned it off I turned it off come on
11:04
it's called be liking my life
11:09
okay so what we have to do is I think we
11:11
portal through yeah this looks very
11:14
simple yeah
11:18
hey we did it
11:21
okay
11:25
ah sweet I love tutorials aren't they so
11:27
much fun oh yes they are
11:30
okay
11:32
oh
11:37
I don't like it I pushed oh oh wait
11:41
stand on that switch stand on that
11:42
switch okay what is something really
11:45
cruel
11:48
oh it's not very nice you have to do
11:51
that
11:52
you're a monster
11:55
destroying them as part of the test see
11:58
you're a monster
12:02
you're unable to place that Cube
12:04
properly no I'm trying to remember how
12:06
to place it so it works right
12:10
I still missed
12:14
that doesn't seem right
12:16
it is though
12:20
see
12:21
oh almost you moved it
12:24
oh man I think I can move it there we go
12:28
oh no you yeah we have to do it we work
12:30
for like a millisecond we have to do
12:33
both and I think
12:40
you is doing very very well it's me it's
12:43
me it's me it's me I've never heard you
12:45
get collaboration points ever so
12:48
um excuse you
12:50
I don't think she's ever said nicely of
12:52
you she was like you're short and then
12:54
she also said that you're short so
12:56
pretty sure she says I'm really good so
12:59
uh yes yes yes I I can uh
13:03
I I appreciate yep I don't know what you
13:07
think you are doing but I don't like it
13:09
it was a draw it's either I win or we
13:12
both fail that's how this works
13:15
with one of you handling the cerebral
13:17
challenges
13:21
oh what the [ __ ] was that okay uh
13:26
uh oh yes hey wanna do me a favor sure
13:31
can you go through this portal that I
13:34
just set up for you yeah cool cool
13:38
uh give me a minute
13:43
uh
13:45
nice
13:49
14 science collaboration points was it
13:52
worth it was it worth it it was very
13:55
worth it was it worth it man
13:57
it was very worth it it wasn't worth it
13:59
I appreciate you indulging me in that I
14:02
promise you I'll do it right this time
14:04
actually I was gonna kill you later on
14:06
like right in front of the puzzle cube
14:08
so
14:10
oh oh wait hold on hold on I got it I I
14:14
think I got it there we go my man
14:16
learning how buttons work you know what
14:19
shut the [ __ ] up I don't recall asking
14:20
you
14:23
all right do you want to go in there it
14:25
seems like you want to go in there I hit
14:28
the wrong button I'm sorry
14:30
yeah yeah yeah yeah here I'll go through
14:33
I go I go I'll go okay
14:41
oh
14:42
there's nothing up there
14:45
I
14:46
the
14:51
you're very worried
14:53
wait where am I supposed to
14:57
what am I looking for
14:58
wait a minute
15:00
oh wait
15:02
um
15:03
oh I gotta oh I gotta go back oh you
15:06
have to go up so I have to push it down
15:07
year to and then you I push you up yeah
15:10
okay cool
15:11
and then if you put a portal there and
15:15
here you can shortcut your way back I
15:18
think all right or oh never mind you
15:20
have a portal over here so just put a
15:22
little there at the end
15:24
all right okay and you should be I
15:27
should have a little bit of a shortcut
15:28
back uh wait a minute and I need to push
15:30
down for you go through and then back up
15:34
and then uh back down and then if you
15:39
shoot the red Point yeah nice easy easy
15:42
only four days before I thought it was
15:45
slowly three oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
15:48
[ __ ]
15:49
revenge is a dish best served on a plate
15:53
with lasers
16:01
the truth is every aspect of your
16:04
performance will be reflected in your
16:06
final score [ __ ] you for instance
16:12
I don't even know what that means you
16:14
just lost points I don't even know what
16:17
that means neither do I
16:23
know I have to be named Peabody it seems
16:25
lame
16:26
ha ha
16:30
UNT what then again I'm the short one so
16:33
I I don't really have any reasons
16:36
baby oh [ __ ] you it's not though oh
16:40
orange receives five science
16:43
collaboration oh do you want a chance to
16:45
kill me
16:47
ah nah you see we're we're friends we're
16:50
in that oh [ __ ] don't don't know we can
16:54
trust each other at all times
16:56
no no
17:00
all right
17:02
I destroyed the cube no I did
17:05
oh [ __ ] you all right so how's this work
17:07
I pointed at the thing so yes you put on
17:09
the thing I jump over you raise the
17:12
razors
17:13
then I'm gonna do the next one yes uh
17:17
wait a minute
17:23
oh I portal over I portal over what do
17:25
you stop I'm trying to actually I'm not
17:27
doing anything I'm not doing anything
17:28
bye why did you I'm trying to get you
17:31
over there man what are you doing it
17:34
seems as if you're trying to kill me
17:40
the bad thing that I'm thinking the
17:42
moment I get a job I'm operating my PC
17:44
probably
17:45
then again I want to I want to upgrade I
17:48
want to upgrade also so
17:51
get through there
17:54
but get through there
17:57
all right uh and then you need to get
18:00
that the laser over there and then raise
18:03
oh [ __ ] dude
18:07
I didn't have enough time all right
18:09
you're not a parkour wizard I got this i
18:11
got this you know what you know what no
18:12
I got it I got it I got it no you're
18:14
you're not up here
18:23
claims to be good okay okay
18:26
okay okay cool good talk a good time oh
18:30
damn it you didn't move fast enough
18:35
huh
18:40
all right
18:42
yeah buddy yeah buddy
18:45
you got this I swear I believe in you
18:49
I think I didn't get you as high as
18:51
possible for this to work so I think the
18:53
last time you [ __ ] me up no I'm pretty
18:55
sure you were just slow then you jumped
18:57
off the side you know what you can go
18:59
kill yourself bam
19:01
there I have no idea how I'm getting
19:03
over now though that's fine
19:06
oh okay uh oh yeah I see it you see it
19:09
do you see it
19:11
you can move that's right yeah if you
19:12
move that to there that's right that's
19:14
right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
19:16
now I have to do parkour [ __ ]
19:21
here we go here we go I can do this I
19:23
can do this
19:25
I missed oh God damn
19:31
and you wanted to be the parkour Master
19:34
you barely made a jump into a circle
19:39
I never claimed to be smart okay
19:44
ah goodness
19:47
you know what Nate nobody asked you
19:50
I asked Nate continue
19:52
Nate go [ __ ] yourself
19:55
with a cactus
19:58
[ __ ] you I'm into that [ __ ] oh
20:04
won't even tell you what you were
20:05
looking for you will know it when you
20:07
find it all right we're looking for
20:09
something so do you know why we
20:11
constantly see the robots being taken
20:13
apart and that kind of thing uh because
20:15
we're robots and you can take apart
20:17
robots so the lore
20:20
is that GLaDOS is trying to prove to you
20:24
that
20:26
um
20:28
um
20:30
we don't matter we can easily be taken
20:32
we can easily be destroyed and put back
20:35
together again oh okay
20:38
um
20:39
how do the countdown
20:42
I don't know how to do the countdown
20:44
[ __ ] uh uh that's another 50-point
20:49
penalty keep it up and you will lose
20:51
five okay do you want to go get ready to
20:54
pull that lever
20:57
yeah I winning okay do you want to go
21:02
over
21:03
how low does it go
21:08
on
21:09
you should see yourselves right now I'm
21:12
done
21:14
no apparently she's done so
21:17
see that's what that's what she wants me
21:18
to think
21:25
okay all right
21:27
um so here so here's how you do the
21:29
countdown three
21:32
one pull
21:35
see was it that difficult
21:37
we didn't do it though
21:40
[Laughter]
21:40
[Music]
21:44
all right three two one pull
21:49
perfect
21:51
oh it is a portal thing okay oops what
21:54
[ __ ] you oh I think I soft locked it
21:59
uh can I get back out
22:01
yes I can yeah okay cool cool
22:05
insert the disc
22:08
cool now let's look at the porn
22:09
congratulations
22:13
nice
22:18
that's the only way I can retrieve you
22:20
is to violently Target acquired we're
22:22
gonna be exploded ready three two you
22:26
don't oh never mind my count was off
22:28
three two one you can't kill me and not
22:31
not if I do it first idiot damn it
22:35
so how did it feel to be violently
22:37
exploded I'd say it's the second time
22:40
it's happened to me
22:41
second time first you don't want to know
22:47
he's trying to get a drink and you made
22:49
me laugh
22:51
very easy
22:53
you finished the first Arc are you ready
22:55
for the next piece of [ __ ] I mean maybe
22:57
next time on couch goblins
22:59
uh yeah next one couch goblins next time
23:01
on couch goblins next time I couch
23:03
goblins next time on couch goblins
23:08
so uh that was fun
23:11
all right let's see who's oh it's
23:13
portals oh [ __ ] you get get rock paper
23:17
scissors idiot
23:23
damn you can't you can't always throw
23:25
rocks open
23:28
it's not like I have a choice yes you do