Cheaters Never Prosper | Portal 2 Co-Op (6)
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Jul 6, 2023
It was supposed to be a joke! Jordan didn't realize that it would screw things up that badly. This is episode 6, if you want to catch up on the series, you can view the playlist here: Coming soon. The Goblins: @larsburrito @argos101 #portal2 #portal2coop #funny #playthrough #meme #memes #podcast
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0:00
couch grabs used to be able to do it
0:08
my day Argos 101 used to play Minecraft
0:11
I was such a big fan of his Minecraft
0:13
series back in my day
0:16
server starts at you're cheating
0:26
was it worth it yes it was how worth it
0:29
was it it was worth it hey welcome to
0:31
couch goblets
0:35
to be honest I did not realize I could
0:37
do that so um
0:39
all right uh should I join you
0:42
ah Maybe
0:44
oh
0:46
ouch trying to figure out what's
0:47
happening this recording file is going
0:49
to be very very long I think if we were
0:52
to editing this
0:55
Adam I think I might need to download a
0:58
couple extra episodes off of the cloud
1:00
that way you can actually of uh
1:03
put it there anyway
1:05
um
1:05
what's in here what's in here what is
1:08
this what is this ooh I can do a
1:10
reversal but
1:12
I don't know if that doesn't
1:16
oh the only answer I see is how do you
1:18
oh I see what you so you do that and you
1:20
do no you can't because when you do that
1:22
I think it oh
1:27
I'd be the one that has to go up there
1:29
because they're the um one person using
1:33
the in there with all the control what
1:35
do you when you stand on that and
1:38
emancipation girl goes up so whoever
1:40
goes through it will destroy their
1:41
portal
1:45
yeah watch so
1:47
before button after button
1:53
okay
1:54
so one of us has to stay in here and
1:57
control all of the portals
2:00
I'm gonna be the smart one and it
2:02
probably
2:05
but I have no idea what I'm doing so oh
2:09
wait a minute wait a minute
2:11
um
2:12
is there
2:16
and they just go through nope
2:20
uh that was stupid
2:22
um
2:24
oh wait a minute
2:29
can you come through
2:33
real quick
2:35
use the sling board
2:40
oh wait no that's not it because the
2:42
Emancipation lead uh funnel is gone
2:48
can I get off that portal before you
2:51
kill me
2:52
I don't know there's not really much
2:54
places like I could put you over here
2:55
see what this does
2:57
don't do that don't do that don't do
2:59
that I'm stupid don't do that yeah we
3:01
all are stupid apparently right now
3:04
um
3:07
I mean if you want I can take you to
3:09
that button
3:11
um that let's see what that button does
3:14
yeah do you see what the button do
3:16
with that one oh I missed two
3:25
retaining it was very entertaining I was
3:28
not face bombing with both hands and
3:30
both heads at the same time you know
3:31
what shut the [ __ ] up
3:35
uh stand off the button for a sec
3:40
I I think yeah
3:45
cool uh now stay on the bus
3:49
good talk
3:52
and then see what the button does this
3:55
is my bus stop
3:56
it oh okay so then that so with that I
4:01
can do I know I got this okay
4:04
you and your portals that are in my way
4:06
I did not shoot anything after that you
4:09
put your portal down and you said you
4:11
were doing a thing so I let you do the
4:13
thing
4:15
now I'm up here where
4:18
oh you're up there okay now how do you
4:20
get me up there
4:21
oh now I can okay so hang on
4:24
if you do
4:27
account who
4:29
oh hang on I think I got it
4:31
no I don't hang on
4:37
right and then I do that and then you go
4:40
over there
4:42
[Music]
4:44
and you step on that
4:47
and that goes there and now you're up
4:49
here
4:52
easy does
4:57
it coming too close but in my attempt to
5:00
drive you apart I learned something
5:02
important I hate you I hate you you're
5:05
the worst you're awful and blue is just
5:08
an okay color
5:10
so I can trust you 100
5:13
come on man that's not cool
5:16
don't
5:20
you know man I'm just gonna laugh it off
5:22
oh I can't laugh it off
5:25
ha
5:29
like friends really good friends
5:33
we're friends right
5:35
we're best of friends we are the we are
5:38
the bestest of friends
5:40
we co-exist
5:43
together as friends
5:46
I think I [ __ ] up
5:49
by using the console that one time
5:52
because we're not getting achievements
5:54
anymore no because I turned cheat I
5:56
turned cheats back off I think okay
5:58
anything
6:01
yeah cheats are off oh no this looks
6:04
ginormous and bad oh [ __ ] uh let's what
6:06
does this button do
6:08
oh
6:10
is that automatic that those Mashers
6:13
I really hope they are because I'd
6:16
rather you not be the cause of my death
6:18
they aren't automatic or they are I mean
6:22
they are
6:23
so
6:25
um
6:26
all right you can get over here that's
6:28
pretty cool
6:34
I see it all right
6:36
I do not like the look of all of those
6:39
Mashers that I we have to go through
6:50
oh you got it okay cool
6:53
I think I have no idea what you're
6:55
supposed to do and at this point so me
6:58
either but we'll we'll [ __ ] around and
7:02
find out
7:03
oh what the [ __ ]
7:05
do you use it like uh no I did like a
7:07
half cheese now I'm down here where
7:10
okay
7:12
oh that's not death down there
7:15
so I need to find a way
7:19
to do like a jump from there
7:22
are there any other entrances does not
7:24
seem it doesn't look like it unless
7:26
there's a different angle that we could
7:28
shoot a portal from out here
7:32
and it doesn't look like it
7:36
is very yeah
7:46
it only reverses
7:50
you don't need to rever okay hang on I'm
7:53
gonna peek in here real quick
7:55
and probably end up dying so um yeah
7:58
we'll see how this goes
8:03
oh there he is oh wait hang on I can get
8:05
you I can get you the thing over there
8:07
so then you can do like a
8:10
oh I didn't realize that you could do
8:13
that yeah okay okay okay so before you
8:15
get on that before you get on that okay
8:16
what's gonna happen is you're gonna get
8:20
a uh can you get this thing right here
8:24
so essentially when you're going up
8:26
there's going to be a thing that you're
8:27
going to need to hit and then you're
8:28
going to start going towards that except
8:30
I think
8:31
stand on the platform you said no
8:34
there's no platforms like all of it is
8:36
just spiky death so what you're gonna
8:38
need to do is
8:40
be able to place a portal fast enough so
8:43
that you don't die
8:45
so you'll put your blue one there and
8:47
then I will reverse you
8:50
I don't know how I survived that but um
8:53
we don't ask we don't ask questions
8:55
um that [ __ ] up I think you know you
8:59
just put light blue there
9:01
oh man so so you'll need to put your
9:04
dark blue there uh straight ahead and
9:07
then I will need to start reversing you
9:10
oh
9:11
all right and then you're gonna have a
9:14
portal below you uh there are only
9:17
spot oh shoot
9:21
all right and then I'm gonna wait for oh
9:26
Google Google
9:27
faster
9:30
all right okay
9:32
um
9:34
what portal should I please your your
9:36
dark dark dark dark blue okay oh okay
9:40
and then I'm gonna let you get closer to
9:41
it and then oh actually I think you'll
9:42
just go yeah all right here you go if I
9:45
die tell my parents I hate their guts
9:48
damn
9:49
all right so now it's something wrong
9:51
portal [ __ ]
9:54
well that worked I'm over here now you
9:56
know if it works there's dirt all right
10:00
um oh wait a minute wait a minute
10:01
um where's the funnel funnel
10:04
um oh you can't get the funnel you you
10:05
mess it up
10:08
drop okay so if you go back through that
10:10
portal and you drop on top never mind
10:12
never mind I'm good the turrets down I'm
10:14
good I'm alive there's also a turret and
10:17
a cube doing a dance down here okay
10:20
um I'm gonna put a cube in here and I
10:22
think you just put it on the button when
10:25
it comes through to you just you need a
10:26
reverse it okay I think so here it comes
10:30
reverse it and grab it actually I might
10:33
be able to come with you with it I think
10:35
I'm supposed to come with it
10:37
I mean you can no I have to I think I
10:39
have to because there's nothing in here
10:40
besides the cube
10:43
so all I want is the cube you're staying
10:47
there forever
10:51
to be understood
10:52
or cheats one no clip
10:55
no clip
10:59
okay so um okay
11:02
um and you'll take the thing so grab it
11:05
and then you can walk on that
11:07
yeah
11:09
I don't know what why so hang on
11:14
hi all right coming through come through
11:15
with me okay hang on a minute all right
11:17
oh [ __ ] up [ __ ] okay all right no it's
11:20
fine because then now we're gonna do
11:21
this we're gonna no no you're gonna take
11:23
this let me go down here what's down
11:26
there gonna jump
11:28
is there a busy over there oh there's
11:30
okay so I jump in that portal hey jump
11:33
in the portal
11:36
hi easy
11:39
you almost killed me that looked
11:41
extremely difficult but then it turned
11:42
out to be like the easiest [ __ ] in the
11:44
world oh oh yeah yeah before we can go
11:46
any further I will need you to complete
11:49
one more test outside of the standard
11:50
testing track uh-oh please refrain from
11:53
doing those childish gestures while you
11:55
are out there I don't know I want to do
11:58
all of them at the same time
12:00
I I don't know how that's going to work
12:02
out for us
12:05
I [ __ ] up
12:07
because now the console just keeps
12:09
showing up saying it's loading things
12:13
we need to find a power station at the
12:15
end of this course
12:17
the humans will accidentally
12:19
disconnected it from my grid okay I am
12:22
sure it was just a clerical error hi
12:24
friends oh those Clerks
12:30
oh those birds and their errors
12:38
aha
12:44
don't look down don't look down I
12:47
already have I highly recommend it
12:50
Shrek I'm looking down
12:53
um I don't know where we go now though
12:56
place
13:01
are you gonna need to place it there
13:03
oh wait wait death wait inescapable
13:07
death no no no no oh hey life
13:13
stupid
13:15
listen man
13:18
wait a minute wait a minute wait a
13:19
minute uh did you get the shield up
13:21
ah we don't need Shields where we're
13:24
going
13:26
you're welcome I'm here for you
13:32
we don't need Shields where we're going
13:35
um I would highly recommend them to be
13:37
honest
13:44
wait hey what if
13:46
and then
13:48
oh that was like a millisecond come on
13:51
why is it taking so long to get out of
13:53
this
13:54
there we go it's not because you're not
13:56
getting out of it I was trying to get
13:58
out of it
14:00
all right hang on watch this
14:03
hang on watch this again
14:13
hang on hang on hang on
14:16
there we go you just gotta strafe it
14:19
why is this here
14:24
yeah can you move it no no there's
14:27
nothing else oh wait a minute yeah
14:28
there's
14:32
all right you're gonna be able to do the
14:34
strafe jump uh no I don't think I am I
14:37
will see if you need to come over oh I
14:39
think oh I think they actually is hang
14:41
on
14:42
are you dead
14:44
um I'm about to be with the turrets if
14:46
you hang on if you drop down and drop
14:48
down on my yellow drop down on my yellow
14:51
um can you I'm already down here yeah so
14:54
my yellow portal is down like it's like
14:57
down down like all the way down like
14:59
it's going down
15:01
all the way down uh you needed to be all
15:04
the way up for that did you think the
15:06
electrical switch was down there
15:09
yes oh all right so you need to get
15:12
yourself are you all the way back at the
15:14
start
15:15
baby
15:16
ah
15:20
thanks oh [ __ ] you oh I didn't know I
15:24
was helping I'm sorry I need uh if you
15:27
can reach the yellow portal right here
15:30
I don't know if I can
15:33
I didn't know I was helping you from
15:34
over here
15:38
can't you just can't you just do that
15:39
yeah just do that yourself yeah but I'm
15:41
about to be shot by turrets Relentless
15:43
you'll be fine just don't die stupid
15:48
I have no idea where I'm going at this
15:50
point though no just go just go up here
15:52
right uh-huh all right and then stop
15:56
doing what you don't uh um okay so
15:59
you're gonna go on there
16:01
oh you don't know how to strafe Trump
16:03
this is gonna be I don't I don't think
16:04
I'm supposed to have gotten here how I
16:06
did but okay so so you have to have to
16:09
get over here by doing a strafe jump
16:12
right and then you have to do that same
16:14
thing to get over here oh [ __ ] yeah I
16:16
don't think that's gonna end well for me
16:18
so so do you know how to do a strafe
16:19
jump right you know how to do a straight
16:21
jump kind of so you're gonna hold as
16:23
close to that wall as you can you're
16:25
gonna hold W jump and then the second
16:26
there's no wall you're gonna start
16:28
pressing uh d
16:30
[Music]
16:33
you keep holding W and then and then
16:36
you'll slowly turn your mouse over to
16:37
look over this way okay here we go what
16:41
oh I did not jump
16:43
intro moment there it is shut the [ __ ]
16:46
up I will know because it's just like
16:48
it's just like super in-depth super
16:51
in-depth explanation all right you got
16:53
this
16:56
I have no idea how to get over there
16:58
correctly because somebody it sucks
17:01
because I'm just waiting for you like I
17:03
would like to go I would like to go over
17:05
there and do it correctly
17:11
what if you just do
17:15
and just if you can all right just try
17:18
to get towards uh this thing when you
17:20
get towards that
17:22
hang on just take the floaty up over
17:24
there I can't
17:26
what do you need me to do so the thing
17:28
that floats you upwards just no no just
17:30
take it all the way up there just take
17:31
it like can you just get up there from
17:32
that
17:33
um I can't I can't pass the light Bridge
17:36
Okay so so make your way up and then
17:38
stand up on the second level
17:41
so so replace the portal if you need it
17:44
oh [ __ ] it and then you'll do that one
17:47
stop changing my portal
17:49
I pressed one button in the past seven
17:52
minutes
17:53
all right and then I died at this rate
17:56
skill issue you know what melt down
18:05
I'm gonna murder you
18:07
listen man we had it solved I not
18:11
correctly I have no idea how the hell
18:14
I'm supposed to get through here
18:17
without strafe jumping like a cheater
18:21
it's not cheating it's called knowing
18:23
how to play video games you know what
18:25
I gotta murder you if you're asleep all
18:28
right and then and then drop so you're
18:29
down there
18:30
like all the way down yeah like where
18:33
the marker is like right so you're on
18:34
that
18:36
you see the marker is the marker being
18:38
seen can you not see this I can
18:41
right there
18:43
drop down that little platform
18:46
oh right and then you just need to jump
18:48
into my red portal now where's your red
18:50
portal oh I'm marking it it's up here
18:55
yeah so then you go through that and
18:56
then we should be fine oh that's
18:57
probably the way it was supposed to be
18:59
done would you look at that yeah by one
19:01
person knowing how to strafe jump in the
19:02
other one no and then we just go through
19:04
and we just
19:07
we did it correctly would you look at
19:08
that
19:09
all right first of all just because I
19:12
know how to strafe jump
19:14
doesn't mean it's the wrong way to do it
19:16
you know what
19:18
go take a cactus and shove it
19:21
crap
19:22
cactuses are like delicious and you
19:25
should totally try to eat one
19:32
um this is definitely going to get the
19:34
shield from down here
19:35
where's the light Bridge
19:38
is there a light Bridge
19:41
I thought you're gonna have to get get
19:42
it from the original
19:45
can I reach the original is the oh yeah
19:48
I can
19:52
all right so then I got it
19:54
[Music]
19:59
[ __ ] you
20:04
all right are we going the right way
20:07
um we're going away
20:09
because there's nothing unless there's a
20:12
portable
20:15
thing wait hang on a second this might
20:18
be crazy or this just might work
20:21
it worked in a way wait isn't this
20:24
reverse of what we just didn't
20:28
no we only died that's reversible
20:31
but we're up back at the beginning oh
20:33
wait no we are over here but I have to
20:35
get the shield again give me a moment
20:37
give me a moment bro give me a Mento
20:42
I'm serious my breath stinks give me a
20:43
Mento
20:45
yeah
20:47
okay that's not working
20:51
because I don't think there was a I
20:53
don't think there was a way to Shield
20:55
that how about you put the portal down
20:57
so we can actually get across I'm
20:59
looking at stuff
21:02
because I think there's some portable oh
21:05
wait is that one over there that is one
21:07
over there is it a shield or is that a
21:10
way to go
21:11
I think that's literally just there to
21:13
[ __ ] with us because it doesn't seem to
21:14
go anywhere and the doors don't work
21:23
okay I think you're gonna have to place
21:25
your shield first
21:27
I lost a portal I lost a portal oh my
21:30
God yeah so you can we can both fit a
21:32
shield down here you're gonna have to
21:33
put one there and then I'm gonna have to
21:34
put one next to it
21:37
so where am I remember everybody
21:39
watching hydration is important
21:43
especially when we're here for a while
21:47
yeah so you put one there
21:53
so it's tight to the right wall as
21:55
possible that's as tight as I can get
21:59
yeah you know what [ __ ] you yeah [ __ ]
22:03
you um let me see if I can oh
22:09
bye
22:15
created this test
22:18
I think we're doing this wrong I think
22:21
that we're doing it correctly in the
22:24
wrong way
22:25
uh probably you know what that's
22:27
probably more that's probably Fair
22:30
is this the last test track this is this
22:32
is I don't know if this is I think this
22:34
is I know it's not six nine
22:37
you know what [ __ ] you hey why are you
22:38
putting that there they're not even
22:39
there anymore oh they aren't they're
22:41
gone what do we do that got rid of them
22:45
um wait a minute maybe you use this can
22:48
you use that to push them off
22:50
I think so but we'd have to keep doing
22:52
it oh we're just putting up put it there
22:54
and then they can't come through
22:58
I think
22:59
yeah it'll be fine
23:02
and then you're just gonna have to move
23:03
it at some point so that we can get
23:05
through
23:07
yeah but we're both past
23:13
I think
23:16
at least I survived you know what shut
23:19
up I hope it helps me that's all that's
23:21
important hey guess what guess what
23:23
dropped me
23:24
um
23:27
all right uh you know what whatever guys
23:31
just just ignore this uh yes now
23:38
I don't know but listen no we can just
23:41
get you over here again I said because
23:42
they're done placing these guys
23:45
and there was a thing there the entire
23:47
time what is the Versa thing
23:49
oh my you're you're an intelligent human
23:53
being will I kill you if I place your
23:55
the uh oh no I killed myself because
23:58
because they stopped spawning robots
24:00
because now we can just do it one more
24:01
time
24:06
we're both stupid in this I want the
24:08
record to show
24:10
hey I survived you know what shut the
24:12
[ __ ] up
24:16
laughs
24:17
so where was the thing the whole time
24:21
it was on the wall
24:24
what is this now we do it there
24:29
it's like right hang on I saw it's right
24:31
there
24:35
oh
24:37
that's probably where I was supposed to
24:39
move it uh do you want to move that up a
24:41
little bit at a time
24:44
thank you
24:48
this guy this man this dude
24:57
do you see El Disco
25:01
two offline
25:04
deep lore
25:08
I'm fully connected
25:11
I can see everything
25:13
see nothing bad happened excellent
25:17
well we did explode so
25:21
nothing bad happened nothing about you
25:24
was lost nothing bad ever happened no
25:27
nothing bad ever happens
25:29
catch grabs used to be able to do it
25:35
no back in my day Argos 101 used to play
25:40
Minecraft that was such a big fan of his
25:42
Minecraft here back in my day
25:45
server starts at you're cheating
25:50
what is the worst that could happen
25:54
uh um I stubbed my toe oh
25:58
were you scared to continue those tests
26:02
did we what do all of what's the where's
26:05
the next
26:06
did we not finish these
26:11
because it says we don't or
26:13
it doesn't say four is completed
26:15
did it bug out because you cheated did
26:18
it bug out because you cheated
26:20
next I'm on couch God
26:22
oh this dude well typically we did
26:25
complete it so yeah but five's not
26:29
unlocked there's no five to go to until
26:31
we complete four Mr cheater I don't
26:34
think five exists does it there's more
26:36
to this
26:40
we'll do this off camera
26:45
oh
26:48
even when your jokes are funny they
26:50
still find a way to disappoint me now
26:55
let the record get upset your jokes were
26:58
so bad
27:00
that I had to do that and it destroyed
27:02
oh so it's my fault that you pressed SB
27:06
let me cheat yes yes yes it is
27:10
anyways uh next time on couch goblins uh
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